Doritos launches 'lady-friendly' crisps that don’t crunch as loudly
Everyone knows the 4pm slump. It's the time of day where dinner is still a long way away, and your tummy is starting to rumble so loudly that you and your side-eye dishing colleague can't ignore it. In an ideal world, you've got your wholesome snack of almonds, natural greek yoghurt and fresh berries prepped and ready the fridge, but who are you kidding – you're probably going to scoff a packet of crisps instead.
But according to the king of the corn chip, Doritos, that's no way for a lady to behave. No, better stick to some pretty little tea cakes or maybe a sandwich with the crusts cut off or better yet – nothing at all. Because apparently, women don't like making it obvious that they need to eat and are positively appalled at the idea of being heard while chowing down the salty, crispy snack.
PepsiCo, who own Doritos along with a number of other household favourites including Cheetos and Lay’s, is apparently in the process of launching a special crisp that doesn't crunch as loudly as regular Doritos. The "lady-friendly" crisp is among "a bunch" of new food products being developed just for women, according to a recent Freakonomics interview with the company’s CEO.
"As you watch a lot of the young guys eat the chips, they love their Doritos, and they lick their fingers with great glee, and when they reach the bottom of the bag they pour the little broken pieces into their mouth, because they don’t want to lose that taste of the flavour, and the broken chips in the bottom," PepsiCo CEO Indra Nooyi explained.
"Women would love to do the same, but they don’t. They don’t like to crunch too loudly in public. And they don’t lick their fingers generously and they don’t like to pour the little broken pieces and the flavour into their mouth."
Nooyi explained that due to these delicate sensibilities that stop women from enjoying their salty snacks as much as their male counterparts do, the company is looking to launch a range of snacks that are "designed and packaged differently".
"For women, low-crunch, the full taste profile, not have so much of the flavour stick on the fingers, and how can you put it in a purse? Because women love to carry a snack in their purse."
The new snack that can be more daintily consumed is apparently the answer to our previously un-ladylike eating habits. But it makes me wonder how we can eat any kind of food in a way that won't be disgusting and shameful – what about tacos, burgers... spaghetti?!
Unsurprisingly, the news that PepsiCo is fuelling insecurities by presenting a new product that we didn't know we needed hasn't been greeted with an enthusiastic response.
Well, looks like this discreet, no-crunch, no-fun, oh-but-I-can-put-it-in-my-purse crisp won't be such a hit. Because honestly, the crunch is the best bit.