6 Reasons the honeymoon phase isn't actually the best part of the relationship
Ahh, the honeymoon period... that time after you've been on a number of good dates with someone and you decide to take things further. You start to fall for each other, text all the time, hang out whenever you can and have hot, steamy sex on the daily, (if not several times a day). And naturally, you rattle on about your new lover to your friends, they're always on your mind, and that "new love" feeling is something fierce in your system.
A lot of people think this loved-up early stage of the relationship is the best part, but... they could be wrong. Not only is it a necessary period of time to go on to a more serious, loving, and sustainable relationship, but the honeymoon phase isn't actually all it's cracked up to be. From the insecurities and delusion that comes with it, here are 6 reasons the honeymoon phase is actually the worst.
1. Beneath the bliss, there's actually a lot of stress
You're past the first (and second and third) date nerves, but now you're entering new territory where you start to worry about other things. Like if it's bad that you're showing too much interest, or what the hell is the optimal number of emojis to send per message (?!), or going through a mini makeover and costume change before your "oh let's casually meet up for a drink after work" date.
2. Which is all thanks to the constant pressure to impress
You're feeling excitable, so of course you want to go on cool and out-of-the-ordinary dates, pick fancy restaurants, and do it all looking like a drop-dead bombshell.
But while a candlelit dinner in a high-rise overlooking the city can feel romantic, so can moments at home, snuggled on the couch sharing a $5 bottle of wine, with you showing him how to do a cat's cradle string figure with your fingers.
3. You get freaked out about arguing
Fights can feel like alarm bells and like your blossoming relationship is doomed just because you can't agree on something as trivial as recycling milk cartons. You might tiptoe around sensitive conversations or hold your tongue if your date did something really stupid.
But thinking that you should never fight because the honeymoon haze has you believing everything is golden and pure is silly – healthy relationships involve (healthy) arguments. You need to fight once in a while to learn how to compromise and better understand each other. It only leads to a stronger relationship.
4. There's probably a lot of sex, but it's not necessarily the ~best~ sex
Yeah, sure the sex is hot, spontaneous and goddamn frequent (high five!), but you shouldn't think that this stage of your relationship will be your sexual peak. Even if you're not doing it as often, the sex will probably be better later in your relationship – you'll both know each other's dirtiest desires, be more confident with your body, and you'll be more confident around their body too, if you know what I mean.
5. Let's be honest, you can be a bit delusional during the honeymoon phase
Don't kid yourself into thinking this way of behaving will last forever. The chemicals that are released in your brain during this stage of the relationship are said to be similar to amphetamines, explaining why you're super psyched about them, talking about them non-stop and having sex all the time.
But that feeling will naturally calm down, and if you've been too caught up in the fantasy of the moment and waving away any red flags, it's likely your relationship will crash.
6. You can't be your true goofy self without feeling self-conscious
You'd be mortified if you do something that upsets the illusion of you being of a pure and wholesome entity; like if you reveal that you love squeezing gooey pimples, or in case you let a thunderous fart rip during a particularly emotional part of a film.
While you're probably going to be more polite and lady-like during the honeymoon phase, you might also be holding back on the truly crazy version of yourself that your best friends know and love. And who wants to do that? The stage after all that is when you can be absolutely honest and totally yourself, all of which your S.O. will come to appreciate.
As fun and exciting as the honeymoon phase is, most people experience something entirely different – and something that's just as good in its own way – in the stage thereafter. Whether you feel less embarrassed about certain bodily functions, or you feel you can just enjoy each other's company when doing something as mundane as grocery shopping, the part after the honeymoon phase comes without the doubts and insecurities that you might feel at first. And that is true #relationshipgoals.