On Friday, the United States Supreme Court voted to overturn the landmark Roe v. Wade decision that had been in place for nearly 50 years. With abortions no longer being viewed as a constitutional right, here's what you're saying about the SCOTUS' decision to overturn Roe v. Wade. <h2>What is Roe v. Wade?</h2> Back in 1969, a 25-year-old single woman challenged criminal abortion laws in Texas. Using the pseudonym "Jane Roe", Norma McCorvey entered a legal battle against Dallas County district attorney Henry Wade - which is why the decision is known as Roe v. Wade. McCorvey was pregnant at the time she filed her case, and although she had claimed that the pregnancy was the result of being raped, her case was denied and she was forced to give birth to the child. After appealing the decision, the case was heard in the US Supreme Court, alongside that of 20-year-old Sandra Bensing from Georgia. <img class="size-full wp-image-12632702" src="https://wp.fournine.net/wp-content/uploads/2022/06/2J7401E-scaled.jpg" alt="" width="2560" height="1521" />[[imagecaption|| Members of the US Supreme Court who would later decide in the Roe vs. Wade abortion case. Credit: Alpha Historica / Alamy]] Both cases argued that abortion laws in Texas and Georgia infringed a woman's right to privacy and therefore went against the United States Constitution. Court justices voted 7-2 that the governments had no power to outlaw abortions and, therefore, abortions became a constitutional right. A person was permitted to terminate their pregnancy within the first three months, with further government regulations being implemented in the second trimester. In the third trimester, as the fetus developed to the point where it could survive outside of the womb, further state restrictions were put in place. <h2>Friday, June 24, 2022</h2> On June 24, the US Supreme Court voted to overturn the landmark 1973 ruling in a 5-4 decision. The decision came as the Supreme Court also voted <a href="https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-61928898">6-3 in favor of Mississippi's ban on abortions</a> after 15 weeks in the case of Dobbs v. Jackson Women's Health Organization. Justices Clarence Thomas, Samuel A. Alito Jr., Neil M. Gorsuch, Brett M. Kavanaugh, and Amy Coney Barrett voted in favor of overturning Roe v. Wade. Justice Samuel Alito wrote in his majority opinion on Friday: "Roe was egregiously wrong from the start. Its reasoning was exceptionally weak, and the decision has had damaging consequences. And far from bringing about a national settlement of the abortion issue, Roe and Casey have enflamed debate and deepened division." <img class="size-full wp-image-12632703" src="https://wp.fournine.net/wp-content/uploads/2022/06/Screenshot-2022-06-27-at-16.45.59.png" alt="" width="878" height="690" />[[imagecaption|| Credit: Xinhua / Alamy]] The three justices who voted in favor of Roe v. Wade were Stephen G. Breyer, Sonia Sotomayor, Elena Kagan, and Justice John G. Roberts, Jr. Justice Roberts - who voted to uphold Mississippi's abortion law but not overturn Roe v. Wade, wrote on Friday: "Surely we should adhere closely to principles of judicial restraint here, where the broader path the Court chooses entails repudiating a constitutional right we have not only previously recognized, but also expressly reaffirmed applying the doctrine of stare decisis." <h2>The Fallout</h2> As reported by <a href="https://www.cnbc.com/2022/06/24/us-states-immediately-institute-abortion-bans-following-roe-ruling.html">CNBC News</a>, abortion bans in Arkansas, Kentucky, Louisiana, Missouri, Oklahoma, South Dakota, Utah, and Alabama went into effect following Friday's overturning of Roe v. Wade. Additionally, Idaho, Tennessee, and Texas will implement abortion bans in 30 days. In these states, it is now a felony to perform an abortion. They do not make exceptions for rape or incest. On the contrary, governors of California, Oregon, and Washington have vowed to expand abortion access and protect anybody who comes to their states in order to terminate a pregnancy. <img class="size-full wp-image-12632701" src="https://wp.fournine.net/wp-content/uploads/2022/06/2JDJRXA-scaled.jpg" alt="" width="2560" height="1709" />[[imagecaption|| Pro-choice and pro-life activists come face-to-face outside of the US Supreme Court. Credit: Newscom / Alamy]] The overturning of Roe v. Wade has also resulted in protests erupting across the country and even in major cities across the world. <a href="https://edition.cnn.com/2022/06/25/us/supreme-court-overturns-roe-v-wade-saturday/index.html" target="_blank" rel="noopener">CNN</a> reports that Phoenix police used tear gas in order to disperse crowds of pro-choice supporters on Friday. That same night, 10 people were arrested in Eugene, Oregon, in response to the ruling. Two abortion rights supporters were also arrested on Saturday after throwing paint near the US Supreme Court. Many polls also appear to show that the majority of US citizens believe the overturning of Roe v. Wade was a mistake. <a href="https://www.axios.com/2022/06/26/cbs-poll-americans-roe-v-wade-abortion-rights">Axios</a> reports that a new CBS News/YouGov <a class="gtmContentClick" href="https://www.cbsnews.com/news/americans-react-to-roe-v-wade-overturn-opinion-poll-2022-06-26/" target="_blank" rel="noopener" data-vars-link-text="reaction poll" data-vars-click-url="https://www.cbsnews.com/news/americans-react-to-roe-v-wade-overturn-opinion-poll-2022-06-26/" data-vars-content-id="1aa2a904-3cdf-4bff-8f73-b2f63470e2ef" data-vars-headline="Poll: Majority of Americans disapprove of overturning Roe v. Wade" data-vars-event-category="story" data-vars-sub-category="story" data-vars-item="in_content_link">reaction poll</a> shows that 59% of Americans disapprove for the ruling, with 52% of those polled calling it a "step backward" for the United States. <h2>What are you saying?</h2> Prior to the SCOTUS' overturning of Roe v. Wade on Friday, Four Nine took to the streets to see what people thought about the possibility of abortion laws being restricted in America. "We have to stay hopeful and we have to stay fighting," one person named Whitney told us. "If they come for one right, they're going to come for them all - and we should know that from history." Whitney also asked pro-choice supporters to reach out to people who have a different point of view, saying: "You know somebody who has had an abortion. You love somebody who has had an abortion. It is incredibly common. And if you don't know somebody who has had an abortion, you have loved somebody who has had a miscarriage. [...] Let somebody make that decision with their doctor and not with you or a judge or anyone else." [[instagramwidget||https://www.instagram.com/p/CfTbQCIlwSW/]] Valerie told Four Nine that if Roe v. Wade is overturned, men should be forced to undergo vasectomies, saying: "If we're going to ban one, it needs to be equal, right? We've got to balance it out - both sides have to suffer. Additionally, Shirley tells Four Nine: "You should have a baby when you feel ready and prepared, with the right person. [...] If it's kinda forced on you, it's going to impact the child's life and it's going to impact your life. It's just not a good situation." Describing themselves as "an obvious pro-choice person", Mikayla told Four Nine that the Roe v. Wade news will "invigorate" more people to get active in the conversation around abortion rights. [[instagramwidget||https://www.instagram.com/p/CfLxCK9FK6X/]] Mikayla also points out that abortion access has not been "equal across the board" for Black and Brown Americans, but hopes that the more people who are talking about the issue will result in action for the better. "It's scary to imagine a world where we are now responsible for a child that we can't support or that we don't want to support," Julia tells Four Nine. "It's going to put a mother or guardian in a position that could ruin their life or ruin a child's life." What are your thoughts on the Roe v. Wade developments? Let us know in the comments section. <h6>Featured image credit: Eleventh Hour Photography / Alamy</h6>

Roe v. Wade: What you're saying in response to abortion rights being restricted

When 22-year-old Mahsa Amini took a trip to Tehran, Iran, on September 13, she could never have known that it would be her last.

It was on this visit that Amini was arrested by the Middle Eastern nation's so-called "morality police," after they alleged she was wearing an inappropriate hijab.

Her brother, who was with her at the time, was told she would be released after attending a "briefing class" at a local detention center. That was the last time he ever saw his sister.

[caption id="attachment_1263170126" align="aligncenter" width="2560"]<img class="wp-image-1263170126 size-full" src="https://img.vt.co/2022/09/2K1AENW-scaled.jpg" alt="Mahsa Amini" width="2560" height="1570" /> Mahsa Amini, 22, was tragically killed after "morality police" arrested her for a dress code violation. Credit: ZUMA Press, Inc. / Alamy[/caption]

CCTV footage eventually emerged, showing Amini collapsing to the ground after her arrest. She was eventually brought to a hospital, where <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/world/2022/sep/18/mahsa-amini-dozens-injured-in-iran-protests-after-death-in-custody">The Guardian</a> reported: "Resuscitation was performed on the patient, the heartbeat returned and the patient was admitted to the intensive care unit. Unfortunately, after 48 hours on Friday, the patient suffered a cardiac arrest again, due to brain death. Despite the efforts of the medical team, they failed to revive her and the patient died."

According to her family, <a href="https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-middle-east-62930425">witnesses saw Amini being beaten by police</a> in the patrol van, causing lasting damage that would have rendered her brain dead and in a coma. Though, officials have alleged Amini had epilepsy, diabetes, and suffered a heart attack, <a href="https://www.aljazeera.com/gallery/2022/9/22/photos-iran-protests-spread-as-internet-curbed">Al Jazeera</a> reported.

Her family has strongly refuted this claim, stating that she was in perfect health.

[caption id="attachment_1263170129" align="aligncenter" width="1280"]<img class="wp-image-1263170129 size-full" src="https://img.vt.co/2022/09/2K1AEMF.jpg" alt="Mahsa Amini" width="1280" height="1707" /> Amini was sadly declared brain dead after being in a three-day coma following her arrest. Credit: ZUMA Press, Inc. / Alamy[/caption]

News of her disturbing murder angered women across the globe, galvanizing them into protests across the world, with hundreds erupting across Iran. Some women have even resorted to burning their hijabs and cutting their hair as a symbol of solidarity with Amini.

In the days following her death, Iran has restricted access to WhatsApp and Instagram, and severe internet shortages have affected many places across the country, per <a href="https://www.aljazeera.com/news/2022/9/22/iran-restricts-whatsapp-instagram-as-mahsa-amini-protests-grow">Al Jazeera</a>.

Much of the anger felt has stemmed from the harsh restrictions on freedom women in Iran endure on a daily basis. Hadi Ghaemi, executive director of the Center for Human Rights in Iran (CHRI), spoke on this, stating: "Mahsa Amini is one among countless victims of the Islamic Republic's war on women."

"She was arrested under the guise of the state's forced-hijab law and died shortly after. The government is responsible for her death and decades of women being harassed, detained and otherwise harmed under the guise of this discriminatory, inhuman law," he added, per <a href="https://iranhumanrights.org/2022/09/mahsa-amini-is-another-victim-of-islamic-republics-war-on-women/">IranHumanRights.org</a>.

CHRI has implored the international community to hold Iranian President, Ebrahim Raisi, accountable for Amini's death and mounting human rights violations - especially as he is at the United Nations General Assembly in New York this week. It was at this event that Raisi sent his condolences to Amini's family and promised her death would be investigated, per <a href="https://www.pbs.org/newshour/world/watch-iranian-president-ebrahim-raisi-addresses-the-2022-united-nations-general-assembly">PBS</a> - though, it is feared this could simply just end up with a show trial and serve no actual justice.

The palpable anger felt by women across the planet can be felt intensely across social media, with thousands of women choosing to cut their hair in protest - posting videos and images on TikTok and Instagram.

[[instagramwidget||https://www.instagram.com/p/Cixa5wBrdHE/]]

One woman posted a clip of her cutting up her hijab on TikTok, just two years after starting to wear the headscarf. "Today exactly two years ago I started wearing hijab, today I cut my hair for #mahsaamini," she captioned the clip.

"I cannot show the video of me cutting my hair out of religious reasons [...] so as a symbol of solidarity I made a video cutting my scarf as well in order to spread the message. I am wearing one of our traditional Persian scarfs around me to represent my people as an Iranian woman. I cannot go into detail for my own safety, so please do the research and spread our message," she bravely added.

[[tiktokwidget||https://www.tiktok.com/@persianziba/video/7145457341020785925]]

Aside from drawing attention to injustices in Iran, many social media accounts have promoted various organizations that are working to help women and protect their safety in the wake of Amini's death.

One app, <a href="https://gershad.com/">Gershad</a>, is being promoted as a tool that can help citizens, journalists, activists and civil society groups to monitor the whereabouts of officials from the "morality police" so that they can steer clear of locations where officers are known to be active, avoiding the risk of confrontation.

Another app, Toranj, offers a similar protection for women in Iran, and is currently taking donations via their website <a href="https://united4iran.org/en/irancubator/toranj.html">here</a>.

There is also a Change.org petition demanding justice for Mahsa Amini, which can be signed <a href="https://www.change.org/p/justice-for-mahsa-amini">here</a>.

When Amini made her last fateful journey to visit family on September 13, she could never have imagined that she would become a symbol of women's resistance.

This article was originally published on VT.co and was shared with permission.
<h6>Featured image credit: ZUMA Press, Inc. / Alamy</h6>

When 22-year-old Mahsa Amini took a trip to Tehran, Iran, on September 13, she could never have known that it would be her last.
It was on this visit that Amini was arrested by the Middle Eastern nation's so-called "morality police," after they alleged she was wearing an inappropriate hijab.
Her brother, who was with her at the time, was told she would be released after attending a "briefing class" at a local detention center. That was the last time he ever saw his sister.
<figure>
 <img class="wp-image-1263170126 size-full" src="https://img.vt.co/2022/09/2K1AENW-scaled.jpg" alt="Mahsa Amini" width="2560" height="1570" /><figcaption class='op-vertical-below'>
<h1>

 Mahsa Amini, 22, was tragically killed after "morality police" arrested her for a dress code violation. Credit: ZUMA Press, Inc. / Alamy</h1>
</figcaption></figure>
CCTV footage eventually emerged, showing Amini collapsing to the ground after her arrest. She was eventually brought to a hospital, where <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/world/2022/sep/18/mahsa-amini-dozens-injured-in-iran-protests-after-death-in-custody">The Guardian</a> reported: "Resuscitation was performed on the patient, the heartbeat returned and the patient was admitted to the intensive care unit. Unfortunately, after 48 hours on Friday, the patient suffered a cardiac arrest again, due to brain death. Despite the efforts of the medical team, they failed to revive her and the patient died."
According to her family, <a href="https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-middle-east-62930425">witnesses saw Amini being beaten by police</a> in the patrol van, causing lasting damage that would have rendered her brain dead and in a coma. Though, officials have alleged Amini had epilepsy, diabetes, and suffered a heart attack, <a href="https://www.aljazeera.com/gallery/2022/9/22/photos-iran-protests-spread-as-internet-curbed">Al Jazeera</a> reported.
Her family has strongly refuted this claim, stating that she was in perfect health.
<figure>
 <img class="wp-image-1263170129 size-full" src="https://img.vt.co/2022/09/2K1AEMF.jpg" alt="Mahsa Amini" width="1280" height="1707" /><figcaption class='op-vertical-below'>
<h1>

 Amini was sadly declared brain dead after being in a three-day coma following her arrest. Credit: ZUMA Press, Inc. / Alamy</h1>
</figcaption></figure>
News of her disturbing murder angered women across the globe, galvanizing them into protests across the world, with hundreds erupting across Iran. Some women have even resorted to burning their hijabs and cutting their hair as a symbol of solidarity with Amini.
In the days following her death, Iran has restricted access to WhatsApp and Instagram, and severe internet shortages have affected many places across the country, per <a href="https://www.aljazeera.com/news/2022/9/22/iran-restricts-whatsapp-instagram-as-mahsa-amini-protests-grow">Al Jazeera</a>.
Much of the anger felt has stemmed from the harsh restrictions on freedom women in Iran endure on a daily basis. Hadi Ghaemi, executive director of the Center for Human Rights in Iran (CHRI), spoke on this, stating: "Mahsa Amini is one among countless victims of the Islamic Republic's war on women."
"She was arrested under the guise of the state's forced-hijab law and died shortly after. The government is responsible for her death and decades of women being harassed, detained and otherwise harmed under the guise of this discriminatory, inhuman law," he added, per <a href="https://iranhumanrights.org/2022/09/mahsa-amini-is-another-victim-of-islamic-republics-war-on-women/">IranHumanRights.org</a>.
CHRI has implored the international community to hold Iranian President, Ebrahim Raisi, accountable for Amini's death and mounting human rights violations - especially as he is at the United Nations General Assembly in New York this week. It was at this event that Raisi sent his condolences to Amini's family and promised her death would be investigated, per <a href="https://www.pbs.org/newshour/world/watch-iranian-president-ebrahim-raisi-addresses-the-2022-united-nations-general-assembly">PBS</a> - though, it is feared this could simply just end up with a show trial and serve no actual justice.
The palpable anger felt by women across the planet can be felt intensely across social media, with thousands of women choosing to cut their hair in protest - posting videos and images on TikTok and Instagram.
<figure class='op-interactive'>
 <blockquote class='instagram-media' data-instgrm-captioned data-instgrm-version='7'>
 <a href='https://www.instagram.com/p/Cixa5wBrdHE/'></a>
 A post shared by Instagram (@instagram)
 </blockquote>
 <script async src='//platform.instagram.com/en_US/embeds.js'></script>
 </figure>
One woman posted a clip of her cutting up her hijab on TikTok, just two years after starting to wear the headscarf. "Today exactly two years ago I started wearing hijab, today I cut my hair for #mahsaamini," she captioned the clip.
"I cannot show the video of me cutting my hair out of religious reasons [...] so as a symbol of solidarity I made a video cutting my scarf as well in order to spread the message. I am wearing one of our traditional Persian scarfs around me to represent my people as an Iranian woman. I cannot go into detail for my own safety, so please do the research and spread our message," she bravely added.

Aside from drawing attention to injustices in Iran, many social media accounts have promoted various organizations that are working to help women and protect their safety in the wake of Amini's death.
One app, <a href="https://gershad.com/">Gershad</a>, is being promoted as a tool that can help citizens, journalists, activists and civil society groups to monitor the whereabouts of officials from the "morality police" so that they can steer clear of locations where officers are known to be active, avoiding the risk of confrontation.
Another app, Toranj, offers a similar protection for women in Iran, and is currently taking donations via their website <a href="https://united4iran.org/en/irancubator/toranj.html">here</a>.
There is also a Change.org petition demanding justice for Mahsa Amini, which can be signed <a href="https://www.change.org/p/justice-for-mahsa-amini">here</a>.
When Amini made her last fateful journey to visit family on September 13, she could never have imagined that she would become a symbol of women's resistance.
This article was originally published on VT.co and was shared with permission.
<h2>Featured image credit: ZUMA Press, Inc. / Alamy</h2>

How Mahsa Amini became a symbol of resistance in Iran

This is a sponsored article in partnership with <a href="http://hm.com" target="_blank" rel="noopener">H&amp;M</a>…

Spring is officially upon us and there's no better time than a new season to switch up your style.

As the weather heats up, we can finally start to shed the drab, dark layers of winter and step into brighter days and bolder colors as the nights get longer.

It's easy to get stuck in a style rut during the colder months, but with the change of seasons comes the perfect opportunity to step out of your comfort zone. Now is the perfect time to go travelling, experience new things, hit up a festival, and experiment with your look.

This season is all about forgetting the fashion rules you thought you knew for spring and embracing the new for an on-trend style evolution that will definitely turn heads.

And if you’re looking to be the life and soul of the new season, here are some fashion tips to ensure you are looking and feeling your best!
Florals For Spring - Groundbreaking In A New Way
In the immortal words of The Devil Wears Prada's Miranda Priestly - "Florals? For Spring? Groundbreaking." Well, if they're done 2023's way, they really can be.

We're not talking ditsy florals and twee prints anymore, for this season it's all about bold colors and incorporating botanical themes in more subtle ways.

[caption id="attachment_1263207454" align="aligncenter" width="678"]<img class="size-large wp-image-1263207454" src="https://img.vt.co/2023/04/Screenshot-2023-04-20-at-12.58.20-678x1024.jpg" alt="" width="678" height="1024" /> Credit: H&amp;M[/caption]

This embroidered co-ord corset top and midi skirt is the perfect pop of fuchsia with botanical textures and cutouts to give this spring staple a complete overhaul.

Shop the look:
<ul>
 	<li><a href="https://www2.hm.com/en_gb/free-form-campaigns/1017b-this-is-isla-hennes.html#/%23macro-botanicals/product-article-102">Embroidered corset top</a></li>
 	<li><a href="https://www2.hm.com/en_gb/free-form-campaigns/1017b-this-is-isla-hennes.html#/%23macro-botanicals/product-article-103" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Embroidered cotton skirt</a></li>
</ul>
Not feeling like brights just yet? The look also works in crisp neutrals, such as this cream broderie anglaise jacket which is a statement without being overpowering on the eye.

[caption id="attachment_1263207455" align="aligncenter" width="695"]<img class="size-large wp-image-1263207455" src="https://img.vt.co/2023/04/Screenshot-2023-04-20-at-12.58.48-695x1024.jpg" alt="" width="695" height="1024" /> Credit: H&amp;M[/caption]

Shop the look:
<ul>
 	<li><a href="https://www2.hm.com/en_gb/free-form-campaigns/1017b-this-is-isla-hennes.html#/%23macro-botanicals/product-article-101" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Oversized broderie anglaise jacket</a></li>
</ul>
Crochet - A Unisex Staple
Crochet has been making its way back to the catwalks in recent seasons and is one trend that is set to stay for spring and beyond.

The 70s-inspired trend shows no signs of waning and is just as wearable for both men and women.

Inject a pop of color with a mustard crochet jacket - great for layering or a cover-up without any added warmth on balmy nights - to instantly elevate a plain outfit.

[caption id="attachment_1263207457" align="aligncenter" width="685"]<img class="size-large wp-image-1263207457" src="https://img.vt.co/2023/04/Screenshot-2023-04-20-at-13.00.00-685x1024.jpg" alt="" width="685" height="1024" /> Credit: H&amp;M[/caption]

Shop the look:
<ul>
 	<li><a href="https://www2.hm.com/en_gb/free-form-campaigns/1017b-this-is-isla-hennes.html#/product-article-118">Crochet-look shirt</a></li>
</ul>
For a male equivalent, you can't go far wrong with a striped crochet polo casually thrown over a lightweight linen pair of chinos for a laid-back but fashion-forward ensemble.

[caption id="attachment_1263207459" align="aligncenter" width="702"]<img class="size-large wp-image-1263207459" src="https://img.vt.co/2023/04/Screenshot-2023-04-20-at-13.00.52-702x1024.jpg" alt="" width="702" height="1024" /> Credit: H&amp;M[/caption]

Shop the look:
<ul>
 	<li><a href="https://www2.hm.com/en_gb/productpage.1147224001.html">Crochet-look resort shirt</a></li>
</ul>
Color Clash - Forget The Rules You Thought You Knew
Spring 2023 is all about clashing colors - the bolder the better. Forget wallflower pastels and opt for bold, bright hues from opposite sides of the color wheel for maximum impact.

[caption id="attachment_1263207461" align="aligncenter" width="707"]<img class="size-large wp-image-1263207461" src="https://img.vt.co/2023/04/Screenshot-2023-04-20-at-13.04.49-707x1024.jpg" alt="" width="707" height="1024" /> Credit: H&amp;M[/caption]

Shop the look:
<ul>
 	<li><a href="https://www2.hm.com/en_gb/free-form-campaigns/1017b-this-is-isla-hennes.html#/product-article-106">Waterfall neckline slip dress</a></li>
 	<li><a href="https://www2.hm.com/en_gb/free-form-campaigns/1017b-this-is-isla-hennes.html#/product-article-120">Platform straw mules</a></li>
</ul>
Rock Boatcore In Linen Classics
As warmer evenings approach, heavy denims can be left behind in favor of airy linen for an instant style upgrade.

Tailored linen trousers paired with a lightweight, short-sleeved shirt with a bold 70s-inspired pattern perfectly tread the line between smart and casual for all occasions.

[caption id="attachment_1263207462" align="aligncenter" width="695"]<img class="size-large wp-image-1263207462" src="https://img.vt.co/2023/04/Screenshot-2023-04-20-at-13.06.10-695x1024.jpg" alt="" width="695" height="1024" /> Credit: H&amp;M[/caption]

[caption id="attachment_1263207463" align="aligncenter" width="713"]<img class="size-large wp-image-1263207463" src="https://img.vt.co/2023/04/Screenshot-2023-04-20-at-13.06.49-713x1024.jpg" alt="" width="713" height="1024" /> Credit: H&amp;M[/caption]

Shop the look:
<ul>
 	<li><a href="https://www2.hm.com/en_gb/productpage.1123347002.html">Linen-blend trousers</a></li>
 	<li><a href="https://www2.hm.com/en_gb/productpage.0703672021.html">Short-sleeved lyocell shirt</a></li>
</ul>
OTT Embellishments - The Bigger The Better
This spring is not for the faint-hearted, so when choosing embellishments it's time to go for the bigger the better.

From large puff sleeves to striking embroidered patterns, leave your inhibitions at the door when it comes to making a statement.

[caption id="attachment_1263207464" align="aligncenter" width="715"]<img class="size-large wp-image-1263207464" src="https://img.vt.co/2023/04/Screenshot-2023-04-20-at-13.07.36-715x1024.jpg" alt="" width="715" height="1024" /> Credit: H&amp;M[/caption]

Shop the look:
<ul>
 	<li><a href="https://www2.hm.com/en_gb/free-form-campaigns/1017b-this-is-isla-hennes.html#/product-article-108">Embroidered off-the-shoulder top</a></li>
 	<li><a href="https://www2.hm.com/en_gb/free-form-campaigns/1017b-this-is-isla-hennes.html#/product-article-109">Embroidered maxi skirt</a></li>
</ul>
Leather Never Goes Out Of Fashion
While we're all embracing the mercury rising, there's no doubt that the evenings can still be pretty cool. The perfect way to stay warm but stylish is with a vintage-style faux leather jacket to throw over any outfit.

From a tailored leather blazer to an old-school slouchy jacket, there's a classic style to suit every aesthetic. For the bold, a relaxed fit leather-look trouser is an instant upgrade to a plainer outfit.

[caption id="attachment_1263207465" align="aligncenter" width="717"]<img class="size-large wp-image-1263207465" src="https://img.vt.co/2023/04/Screenshot-2023-04-20-at-13.08.28-717x1024.jpg" alt="" width="717" height="1024" /> Credit: H&amp;M[/caption]

Shop the look:
<ul>
 	<li><a href="https://www2.hm.com/en_gb/productpage.1113663002.html">Unconstructed jacket</a></li>
 	<li><a href="https://www2.hm.com/en_gb/productpage.1164327001.html">Pull-on trousers</a></li>
</ul>
For more incredible looks, discover the H&amp;M Spring collection in-store and online at <a href="http://hm.com" target="_blank" rel="noopener">hm.com</a>.
And while you’re there, don't forget to become an H&amp;M Member – it's free and you'll get 10% off your first purchase, enjoy exclusive discounts, rewards, and events!

<h6>Featured image credit: H&amp;M</h6>

This is a sponsored article in partnership with <a href="http://hm.com" target="_blank" rel="noopener">H&amp;M</a>…
Spring is officially upon us and there's no better time than a new season to switch up your style.
As the weather heats up, we can finally start to shed the drab, dark layers of winter and step into brighter days and bolder colors as the nights get longer.
It's easy to get stuck in a style rut during the colder months, but with the change of seasons comes the perfect opportunity to step out of your comfort zone. Now is the perfect time to go travelling, experience new things, hit up a festival, and experiment with your look.
This season is all about forgetting the fashion rules you thought you knew for spring and embracing the new for an on-trend style evolution that will definitely turn heads.
And if you’re looking to be the life and soul of the new season, here are some fashion tips to ensure you are looking and feeling your best!
Florals For Spring - Groundbreaking In A New Way
In the immortal words of The Devil Wears Prada's Miranda Priestly - "Florals? For Spring? Groundbreaking." Well, if they're done 2023's way, they really can be.
We're not talking ditsy florals and twee prints anymore, for this season it's all about bold colors and incorporating botanical themes in more subtle ways.
<figure>
 <img class="size-large wp-image-1263207454" src="https://img.vt.co/2023/04/Screenshot-2023-04-20-at-12.58.20-678x1024.jpg" alt="" width="678" height="1024" /><figcaption class='op-vertical-below'>
<h1>

 Credit: H&amp;M</h1>
</figcaption></figure>
This embroidered co-ord corset top and midi skirt is the perfect pop of fuchsia with botanical textures and cutouts to give this spring staple a complete overhaul.
Shop the look:
<ul>
<li><a href="https://www2.hm.com/en_gb/free-form-campaigns/1017b-this-is-isla-hennes.html#/%23macro-botanicals/product-article-102">Embroidered corset top</a></li>
<li><a href="https://www2.hm.com/en_gb/free-form-campaigns/1017b-this-is-isla-hennes.html#/%23macro-botanicals/product-article-103" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Embroidered cotton skirt</a></li>
</ul>
Not feeling like brights just yet? The look also works in crisp neutrals, such as this cream broderie anglaise jacket which is a statement without being overpowering on the eye.
<figure>
 <img class="size-large wp-image-1263207455" src="https://img.vt.co/2023/04/Screenshot-2023-04-20-at-12.58.48-695x1024.jpg" alt="" width="695" height="1024" /><figcaption class='op-vertical-below'>
<h1>

 Credit: H&amp;M</h1>
</figcaption></figure>
Shop the look:
<ul>
<li><a href="https://www2.hm.com/en_gb/free-form-campaigns/1017b-this-is-isla-hennes.html#/%23macro-botanicals/product-article-101" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Oversized broderie anglaise jacket</a></li>
</ul>
Crochet - A Unisex Staple
Crochet has been making its way back to the catwalks in recent seasons and is one trend that is set to stay for spring and beyond.
The 70s-inspired trend shows no signs of waning and is just as wearable for both men and women.
Inject a pop of color with a mustard crochet jacket - great for layering or a cover-up without any added warmth on balmy nights - to instantly elevate a plain outfit.
<figure>
 <img class="size-large wp-image-1263207457" src="https://img.vt.co/2023/04/Screenshot-2023-04-20-at-13.00.00-685x1024.jpg" alt="" width="685" height="1024" /><figcaption class='op-vertical-below'>
<h1>

 Credit: H&amp;M</h1>
</figcaption></figure>
Shop the look:
<ul>
<li><a href="https://www2.hm.com/en_gb/free-form-campaigns/1017b-this-is-isla-hennes.html#/product-article-118">Crochet-look shirt</a></li>
</ul>
For a male equivalent, you can't go far wrong with a striped crochet polo casually thrown over a lightweight linen pair of chinos for a laid-back but fashion-forward ensemble.
<figure>
 <img class="size-large wp-image-1263207459" src="https://img.vt.co/2023/04/Screenshot-2023-04-20-at-13.00.52-702x1024.jpg" alt="" width="702" height="1024" /><figcaption class='op-vertical-below'>
<h1>

 Credit: H&amp;M</h1>
</figcaption></figure>
Shop the look:
<ul>
<li><a href="https://www2.hm.com/en_gb/productpage.1147224001.html">Crochet-look resort shirt</a></li>
</ul>
Color Clash - Forget The Rules You Thought You Knew
Spring 2023 is all about clashing colors - the bolder the better. Forget wallflower pastels and opt for bold, bright hues from opposite sides of the color wheel for maximum impact.
<figure>
 <img class="size-large wp-image-1263207461" src="https://img.vt.co/2023/04/Screenshot-2023-04-20-at-13.04.49-707x1024.jpg" alt="" width="707" height="1024" /><figcaption class='op-vertical-below'>
<h1>

 Credit: H&amp;M</h1>
</figcaption></figure>
Shop the look:
<ul>
<li><a href="https://www2.hm.com/en_gb/free-form-campaigns/1017b-this-is-isla-hennes.html#/product-article-106">Waterfall neckline slip dress</a></li>
<li><a href="https://www2.hm.com/en_gb/free-form-campaigns/1017b-this-is-isla-hennes.html#/product-article-120">Platform straw mules</a></li>
</ul>
Rock Boatcore In Linen Classics
As warmer evenings approach, heavy denims can be left behind in favor of airy linen for an instant style upgrade.
Tailored linen trousers paired with a lightweight, short-sleeved shirt with a bold 70s-inspired pattern perfectly tread the line between smart and casual for all occasions.
<figure>
 <img class="size-large wp-image-1263207462" src="https://img.vt.co/2023/04/Screenshot-2023-04-20-at-13.06.10-695x1024.jpg" alt="" width="695" height="1024" /><figcaption class='op-vertical-below'>
<h1>

 Credit: H&amp;M</h1>
</figcaption></figure>
<figure>
 <img class="size-large wp-image-1263207463" src="https://img.vt.co/2023/04/Screenshot-2023-04-20-at-13.06.49-713x1024.jpg" alt="" width="713" height="1024" /><figcaption class='op-vertical-below'>
<h1>

 Credit: H&amp;M</h1>
</figcaption></figure>
Shop the look:
<ul>
<li><a href="https://www2.hm.com/en_gb/productpage.1123347002.html">Linen-blend trousers</a></li>
<li><a href="https://www2.hm.com/en_gb/productpage.0703672021.html">Short-sleeved lyocell shirt</a></li>
</ul>
OTT Embellishments - The Bigger The Better
This spring is not for the faint-hearted, so when choosing embellishments it's time to go for the bigger the better.
From large puff sleeves to striking embroidered patterns, leave your inhibitions at the door when it comes to making a statement.
<figure>
 <img class="size-large wp-image-1263207464" src="https://img.vt.co/2023/04/Screenshot-2023-04-20-at-13.07.36-715x1024.jpg" alt="" width="715" height="1024" /><figcaption class='op-vertical-below'>
<h1>

 Credit: H&amp;M</h1>
</figcaption></figure>
Shop the look:
<ul>
<li><a href="https://www2.hm.com/en_gb/free-form-campaigns/1017b-this-is-isla-hennes.html#/product-article-108">Embroidered off-the-shoulder top</a></li>
<li><a href="https://www2.hm.com/en_gb/free-form-campaigns/1017b-this-is-isla-hennes.html#/product-article-109">Embroidered maxi skirt</a></li>
</ul>
Leather Never Goes Out Of Fashion
While we're all embracing the mercury rising, there's no doubt that the evenings can still be pretty cool. The perfect way to stay warm but stylish is with a vintage-style faux leather jacket to throw over any outfit.
From a tailored leather blazer to an old-school slouchy jacket, there's a classic style to suit every aesthetic. For the bold, a relaxed fit leather-look trouser is an instant upgrade to a plainer outfit.
<figure>
 <img class="size-large wp-image-1263207465" src="https://img.vt.co/2023/04/Screenshot-2023-04-20-at-13.08.28-717x1024.jpg" alt="" width="717" height="1024" /><figcaption class='op-vertical-below'>
<h1>

 Credit: H&amp;M</h1>
</figcaption></figure>
Shop the look:
<ul>
<li><a href="https://www2.hm.com/en_gb/productpage.1113663002.html">Unconstructed jacket</a></li>
<li><a href="https://www2.hm.com/en_gb/productpage.1164327001.html">Pull-on trousers</a></li>
</ul>
For more incredible looks, discover the H&amp;M Spring collection in-store and online at <a href="http://hm.com" target="_blank" rel="noopener">hm.com</a>.
And while you’re there, don't forget to become an H&amp;M Member – it's free and you'll get 10% off your first purchase, enjoy exclusive discounts, rewards, and events!
<h2>Featured image credit: H&amp;M</h2>

Winter is over! Now it’s time to enjoy the sun and update your wardrobe

On Friday, the United States Supreme Court voted to overturn the landmark Roe v. Wade decision that had been in place for nearly 50 years.

With abortions no longer being viewed as a constitutional right, here's what you're saying about the SCOTUS' decision to overturn Roe v. Wade.
<h2>What is Roe v. Wade?</h2>
Back in 1969, a 25-year-old single woman challenged criminal abortion laws in Texas. Using the pseudonym "Jane Roe", Norma McCorvey entered a legal battle against Dallas County district attorney Henry Wade - which is why the decision is known as Roe v. Wade.

McCorvey was pregnant at the time she filed her case, and although she had claimed that the pregnancy was the result of being raped, her case was denied and she was forced to give birth to the child.

After appealing the decision, the case was heard in the US Supreme Court, alongside that of 20-year-old Sandra Bensing from Georgia.

[caption id="attachment_12632702" align="aligncenter" width="2560"]<img class="size-full wp-image-12632702" src="https://img.fournine.net/2022/06/2J7401E-scaled.jpg" alt="" width="2560" height="1521" /> Members of the US Supreme Court who would later decide in the Roe vs. Wade abortion case. Credit: Alpha Historica / Alamy[/caption]

Both cases argued that abortion laws in Texas and Georgia infringed a woman's right to privacy and therefore went against the United States Constitution. Court justices voted 7-2 that the governments had no power to outlaw abortions and, therefore, abortions became a constitutional right.

A person was permitted to terminate their pregnancy within the first three months, with further government regulations being implemented in the second trimester. In the third trimester, as the fetus developed to the point where it could survive outside of the womb, further state restrictions were put in place.
<h2>Friday, June 24, 2022</h2>
On June 24, the US Supreme Court voted to overturn the landmark 1973 ruling in a 5-4 decision.

The decision came as the Supreme Court also voted <a href="https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-61928898">6-3 in favor of Mississippi's ban on abortions</a> after 15 weeks in the case of Dobbs v. Jackson Women's Health Organization.

Justices Clarence Thomas, Samuel A. Alito Jr., Neil M. Gorsuch, Brett M. Kavanaugh, and Amy Coney Barrett voted in favor of overturning Roe v. Wade.

Justice Samuel Alito wrote in his majority opinion on Friday: "Roe was egregiously wrong from the start. Its reasoning was exceptionally weak, and the decision has had damaging consequences. And far from bringing about a national settlement of the abortion issue, Roe and Casey have enflamed debate and deepened division."

[caption id="attachment_12632703" align="aligncenter" width="878"]<img class="size-full wp-image-12632703" src="https://img.fournine.net/2022/06/Screenshot-2022-06-27-at-16.45.59.png" alt="" width="878" height="690" /> Credit: Xinhua / Alamy[/caption]

The three justices who voted in favor of Roe v. Wade were Stephen G. Breyer, Sonia Sotomayor, Elena Kagan, and Justice John G. Roberts, Jr.

Justice Roberts - who voted to uphold Mississippi's abortion law but not overturn Roe v. Wade, wrote on Friday: "Surely we should adhere closely to principles of judicial restraint here, where the broader path the Court chooses entails repudiating a constitutional right we have not only previously recognized, but also expressly reaffirmed applying the doctrine of stare decisis."
<h2>The Fallout</h2>
As reported by <a href="https://www.cnbc.com/2022/06/24/us-states-immediately-institute-abortion-bans-following-roe-ruling.html">CNBC News</a>, abortion bans in Arkansas, Kentucky, Louisiana, Missouri, Oklahoma, South Dakota, Utah, and Alabama went into effect following Friday's overturning of Roe v. Wade. Additionally, Idaho, Tennessee, and Texas will implement abortion bans in 30 days.

In these states, it is now a felony to perform an abortion. They do not make exceptions for rape or incest.

On the contrary, governors of California, Oregon, and Washington have vowed to expand abortion access and protect anybody who comes to their states in order to terminate a pregnancy.

[caption id="attachment_12632701" align="aligncenter" width="2560"]<img class="size-full wp-image-12632701" src="https://img.fournine.net/2022/06/2JDJRXA-scaled.jpg" alt="" width="2560" height="1709" /> Pro-choice and pro-life activists come face-to-face outside of the US Supreme Court. Credit: Newscom / Alamy[/caption]

The overturning of Roe v. Wade has also resulted in protests erupting across the country and even in major cities across the world.

<a href="https://edition.cnn.com/2022/06/25/us/supreme-court-overturns-roe-v-wade-saturday/index.html" target="_blank" rel="noopener">CNN</a> reports that Phoenix police used tear gas in order to disperse crowds of pro-choice supporters on Friday. That same night, 10 people were arrested in Eugene, Oregon, in response to the ruling. Two abortion rights supporters were also arrested on Saturday after throwing paint near the US Supreme Court.

Many polls also appear to show that the majority of US citizens believe the overturning of Roe v. Wade was a mistake.

<a href="https://www.axios.com/2022/06/26/cbs-poll-americans-roe-v-wade-abortion-rights">Axios</a> reports that a new CBS News/YouGov <a class="gtmContentClick" href="https://www.cbsnews.com/news/americans-react-to-roe-v-wade-overturn-opinion-poll-2022-06-26/" target="_blank" rel="noopener" data-vars-link-text="reaction poll" data-vars-click-url="https://www.cbsnews.com/news/americans-react-to-roe-v-wade-overturn-opinion-poll-2022-06-26/" data-vars-content-id="1aa2a904-3cdf-4bff-8f73-b2f63470e2ef" data-vars-headline="Poll: Majority of Americans disapprove of overturning Roe v. Wade" data-vars-event-category="story" data-vars-sub-category="story" data-vars-item="in_content_link">reaction poll</a> shows that 59% of Americans disapprove for the ruling, with 52% of those polled calling it a "step backward" for the United States.
<h2>What are you saying?</h2>
Prior to the SCOTUS' overturning of Roe v. Wade on Friday, Four Nine took to the streets to see what people thought about the possibility of abortion laws being restricted in America.

"We have to stay hopeful and we have to stay fighting," one person named Whitney told us. "If they come for one right, they're going to come for them all - and we should know that from history."

Whitney also asked pro-choice supporters to reach out to people who have a different point of view, saying: "You know somebody who has had an abortion. You love somebody who has had an abortion. It is incredibly common. And if you don't know somebody who has had an abortion, you have loved somebody who has had a miscarriage. [...] Let somebody make that decision with their doctor and not with you or a judge or anyone else."

[[instagramwidget||https://www.instagram.com/p/CfTbQCIlwSW/]]

Valerie told Four Nine that if Roe v. Wade is overturned, men should be forced to undergo vasectomies, saying: "If we're going to ban one, it needs to be equal, right? We've got to balance it out - both sides have to suffer.

Additionally, Shirley tells Four Nine: "You should have a baby when you feel ready and prepared, with the right person. [...] If it's kinda forced on you, it's going to impact the child's life and it's going to impact your life. It's just not a good situation."

Describing themselves as "an obvious pro-choice person", Mikayla told Four Nine that the Roe v. Wade news will "invigorate" more people to get active in the conversation around abortion rights.

[[instagramwidget||https://www.instagram.com/p/CfLxCK9FK6X/]]

Mikayla also points out that abortion access has not been "equal across the board" for Black and Brown Americans, but hopes that the more people who are talking about the issue will result in action for the better.

"It's scary to imagine a world where we are now responsible for a child that we can't support or that we don't want to support," Julia tells Four Nine. "It's going to put a mother or guardian in a position that could ruin their life or ruin a child's life."

What are your thoughts on the Roe v. Wade developments? Let us know in the comments section.
<h6>Featured image credit: Eleventh Hour Photography / Alamy</h6>

On Friday, the United States Supreme Court voted to overturn the landmark Roe v. Wade decision that had been in place for nearly 50 years.
With abortions no longer being viewed as a constitutional right, here's what you're saying about the SCOTUS' decision to overturn Roe v. Wade.
<h2>What is Roe v. Wade?</h2>
Back in 1969, a 25-year-old single woman challenged criminal abortion laws in Texas. Using the pseudonym "Jane Roe", Norma McCorvey entered a legal battle against Dallas County district attorney Henry Wade - which is why the decision is known as Roe v. Wade.
McCorvey was pregnant at the time she filed her case, and although she had claimed that the pregnancy was the result of being raped, her case was denied and she was forced to give birth to the child.
After appealing the decision, the case was heard in the US Supreme Court, alongside that of 20-year-old Sandra Bensing from Georgia.
<figure>
 <img class="size-full wp-image-12632702" src="https://img.fournine.net/2022/06/2J7401E-scaled.jpg" alt="" width="2560" height="1521" /><figcaption class='op-vertical-below'>
<h1>

 Members of the US Supreme Court who would later decide in the Roe vs. Wade abortion case. Credit: Alpha Historica / Alamy</h1>
</figcaption></figure>
Both cases argued that abortion laws in Texas and Georgia infringed a woman's right to privacy and therefore went against the United States Constitution. Court justices voted 7-2 that the governments had no power to outlaw abortions and, therefore, abortions became a constitutional right.
A person was permitted to terminate their pregnancy within the first three months, with further government regulations being implemented in the second trimester. In the third trimester, as the fetus developed to the point where it could survive outside of the womb, further state restrictions were put in place.
<h2>Friday, June 24, 2022</h2>
On June 24, the US Supreme Court voted to overturn the landmark 1973 ruling in a 5-4 decision.
The decision came as the Supreme Court also voted <a href="https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-61928898">6-3 in favor of Mississippi's ban on abortions</a> after 15 weeks in the case of Dobbs v. Jackson Women's Health Organization.
Justices Clarence Thomas, Samuel A. Alito Jr., Neil M. Gorsuch, Brett M. Kavanaugh, and Amy Coney Barrett voted in favor of overturning Roe v. Wade.
Justice Samuel Alito wrote in his majority opinion on Friday: "Roe was egregiously wrong from the start. Its reasoning was exceptionally weak, and the decision has had damaging consequences. And far from bringing about a national settlement of the abortion issue, Roe and Casey have enflamed debate and deepened division."
<figure>
 <img class="size-full wp-image-12632703" src="https://img.fournine.net/2022/06/Screenshot-2022-06-27-at-16.45.59.png" alt="" width="878" height="690" /><figcaption class='op-vertical-below'>
<h1>

 Credit: Xinhua / Alamy</h1>
</figcaption></figure>
The three justices who voted in favor of Roe v. Wade were Stephen G. Breyer, Sonia Sotomayor, Elena Kagan, and Justice John G. Roberts, Jr.
Justice Roberts - who voted to uphold Mississippi's abortion law but not overturn Roe v. Wade, wrote on Friday: "Surely we should adhere closely to principles of judicial restraint here, where the broader path the Court chooses entails repudiating a constitutional right we have not only previously recognized, but also expressly reaffirmed applying the doctrine of stare decisis."
<h2>The Fallout</h2>
As reported by <a href="https://www.cnbc.com/2022/06/24/us-states-immediately-institute-abortion-bans-following-roe-ruling.html">CNBC News</a>, abortion bans in Arkansas, Kentucky, Louisiana, Missouri, Oklahoma, South Dakota, Utah, and Alabama went into effect following Friday's overturning of Roe v. Wade. Additionally, Idaho, Tennessee, and Texas will implement abortion bans in 30 days.
In these states, it is now a felony to perform an abortion. They do not make exceptions for rape or incest.
On the contrary, governors of California, Oregon, and Washington have vowed to expand abortion access and protect anybody who comes to their states in order to terminate a pregnancy.
<figure>
 <img class="size-full wp-image-12632701" src="https://img.fournine.net/2022/06/2JDJRXA-scaled.jpg" alt="" width="2560" height="1709" /><figcaption class='op-vertical-below'>
<h1>

 Pro-choice and pro-life activists come face-to-face outside of the US Supreme Court. Credit: Newscom / Alamy</h1>
</figcaption></figure>
The overturning of Roe v. Wade has also resulted in protests erupting across the country and even in major cities across the world.
<a href="https://edition.cnn.com/2022/06/25/us/supreme-court-overturns-roe-v-wade-saturday/index.html" target="_blank" rel="noopener">CNN</a> reports that Phoenix police used tear gas in order to disperse crowds of pro-choice supporters on Friday. That same night, 10 people were arrested in Eugene, Oregon, in response to the ruling. Two abortion rights supporters were also arrested on Saturday after throwing paint near the US Supreme Court.
Many polls also appear to show that the majority of US citizens believe the overturning of Roe v. Wade was a mistake.
<a href="https://www.axios.com/2022/06/26/cbs-poll-americans-roe-v-wade-abortion-rights">Axios</a> reports that a new CBS News/YouGov <a class="gtmContentClick" href="https://www.cbsnews.com/news/americans-react-to-roe-v-wade-overturn-opinion-poll-2022-06-26/" target="_blank" rel="noopener" data-vars-link-text="reaction poll" data-vars-click-url="https://www.cbsnews.com/news/americans-react-to-roe-v-wade-overturn-opinion-poll-2022-06-26/" data-vars-content-id="1aa2a904-3cdf-4bff-8f73-b2f63470e2ef" data-vars-headline="Poll: Majority of Americans disapprove of overturning Roe v. Wade" data-vars-event-category="story" data-vars-sub-category="story" data-vars-item="in_content_link">reaction poll</a> shows that 59% of Americans disapprove for the ruling, with 52% of those polled calling it a "step backward" for the United States.
<h2>What are you saying?</h2>
Prior to the SCOTUS' overturning of Roe v. Wade on Friday, Four Nine took to the streets to see what people thought about the possibility of abortion laws being restricted in America.
"We have to stay hopeful and we have to stay fighting," one person named Whitney told us. "If they come for one right, they're going to come for them all - and we should know that from history."
Whitney also asked pro-choice supporters to reach out to people who have a different point of view, saying: "You know somebody who has had an abortion. You love somebody who has had an abortion. It is incredibly common. And if you don't know somebody who has had an abortion, you have loved somebody who has had a miscarriage. [...] Let somebody make that decision with their doctor and not with you or a judge or anyone else."
<figure class='op-interactive'>
 <blockquote class='instagram-media' data-instgrm-captioned data-instgrm-version='7'>
 <a href='https://www.instagram.com/p/CfTbQCIlwSW/'></a>
 A post shared by Instagram (@instagram)
 </blockquote>
 <script async src='//platform.instagram.com/en_US/embeds.js'></script>
 </figure>
Valerie told Four Nine that if Roe v. Wade is overturned, men should be forced to undergo vasectomies, saying: "If we're going to ban one, it needs to be equal, right? We've got to balance it out - both sides have to suffer.
Additionally, Shirley tells Four Nine: "You should have a baby when you feel ready and prepared, with the right person. [...] If it's kinda forced on you, it's going to impact the child's life and it's going to impact your life. It's just not a good situation."
Describing themselves as "an obvious pro-choice person", Mikayla told Four Nine that the Roe v. Wade news will "invigorate" more people to get active in the conversation around abortion rights.
<figure class='op-interactive'>
 <blockquote class='instagram-media' data-instgrm-captioned data-instgrm-version='7'>
 <a href='https://www.instagram.com/p/CfLxCK9FK6X/'></a>
 A post shared by Instagram (@instagram)
 </blockquote>
 <script async src='//platform.instagram.com/en_US/embeds.js'></script>
 </figure>
Mikayla also points out that abortion access has not been "equal across the board" for Black and Brown Americans, but hopes that the more people who are talking about the issue will result in action for the better.
"It's scary to imagine a world where we are now responsible for a child that we can't support or that we don't want to support," Julia tells Four Nine. "It's going to put a mother or guardian in a position that could ruin their life or ruin a child's life."
What are your thoughts on the Roe v. Wade developments? Let us know in the comments section.
<h2>Featured image credit: Eleventh Hour Photography / Alamy</h2>

This is a sponsored article in partnership with National Highways…

Did you know that smart motorways without a hard shoulder make up around <a href="https://nationalhighways.co.uk/road-safety/driving-on-motorways?utm_source=vtcowebsite&amp;utm_medium=Writtenarticle&amp;utm_campaign=May22&amp;utm_id=drivingonmotorways2">10 percent of the motorway network</a>? That’s why it’s so important to be able to recognise their features and how they work together.

But what even is a smart motorway? And what should you expect to see and do differently when you find yourself driving along one?

Whether you’re planning a trip to the seaside or just driving home from uni, knowing the signs, signals and features of a smart motorway is sure to make your journey run smoother. Forget calling mum and dad in a fluster! With these tips and advice, you’ll be ready to stick on your favourite playlist, load up the boot, and head out on the summer road trip of dreams.

But first, a bit about smart motorways.

These state-of-the-art highways do all the same things as your basic road, but with high-tech features to help you get to your destination as conveniently and reliably as possible.

One of the main features to look out for is <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WY6vNFKWsOE">variable speed limits</a>. Unlike regular motorways - which have fixed speed limits - the maximum speed you can drive on a smart motorway changes, to help keep traffic moving or if there is an incident ahead.

[caption id="attachment_12632690" align="aligncenter" width="1196"]<img class="wp-image-12632690 size-full" src="https://img.fournine.net/2022/06/Screenshot-2022-06-20-at-14.27.09.jpg" alt="" width="1196" height="798" /> Credit: National Highways (Supplied)[/caption]

Why is this so smart? Well, when sensors positioned along the motorway detect a queue forming or an incident up ahead, they can slow down approaching traffic to prevent the road from getting too congested.

As we all know, it’s no fun sitting in standstill traffic after a hard day’s work or a long weekend away - especially when all you want to do is get home. Variable speed limits are a smart way of helping to keep traffic moving.

[caption id="attachment_12632691" align="aligncenter" width="1196"]<img class="wp-image-12632691 size-full" src="https://img.fournine.net/2022/06/Screenshot-2022-06-20-at-14.27.19.jpg" alt="" width="1196" height="692" /> Credit: Prostock-studio / Alamy[/caption]

Another thing to look out for is whether you are on a motorway where drivers can use the hard shoulder as a regular lane. On some smart motorways the hard shoulder can be used at peak times – you’ll know if it’s open because there will be a speed limit displayed on the sign above the hard shoulder. If this sign is blank or if it shows a red X, you must not use it and could be fined.

On other smart motorways there is no hard shoulder, all lanes are open to traffic, unless there is a red X displayed. Driving in a lane with a red X is illegal, dangerous, and could very well result in a hefty fine - which is the last thing you want to come home to after a blow-out road trip with the girls. If only all red flags were so easy to spot, hey?
Check out more information in the video below:
[[youtubewidget||https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p-T5HRzhKFM]]

And <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RYgz9Rz5WDo">if your car runs into trouble</a> while you’re driving on a smart motorway, don’t panic.

A sudden breakdown on a busy road can be a daunting experience, but the purpose-built emergency areas on smart motorways mean you’ll be better equipped to perfectly handle the situation and get the help you need.

On smart motorways you’ll find orange emergency areas set back from the carriageway which are specifically intended for drivers to pull over, and seek assistance.

[caption id="attachment_12632692" align="aligncenter" width="1200"]<img class="wp-image-12632692 size-full" src="https://img.fournine.net/2022/06/Screenshot-2022-06-20-at-14.27.28.jpg" alt="" width="1200" height="738" /> Credit: National Highways (Supplied)[/caption]

These areas have telephones linking directly to regional control rooms and are set back from the road at regular intervals, so there should be somewhere to stop approximately every mile.

If you get into trouble on a motorway, you should always stay calm and try to exit at the next junction or motorway service area. However, if you can’t make it to either of these places you can put your left indicator on and move into the left lane. On a smart motorway, you can move into the next emergency area.

Once you’ve reached a place of safety, put your hazard lights on and stay out of the way of moving traffic by getting behind a barrier if there is one. If you’re in an emergency area, contact National Highways through the roadside phone or give them a ring on 0300 123 5000.

You should also then call your breakdown provider for help. Whatever you do, don’t try to rejoin the traffic until you’ve been advised by National Highways on the best way to do so. National Highways can close the lane to help you rejoin the motorway safely. They can also set signs and warn approaching traffic that you’re about to exit an emergency area.

[caption id="attachment_12632693" align="aligncenter" width="1196"]<img class="size-full wp-image-12632693" src="https://img.fournine.net/2022/06/Screenshot-2022-06-20-at-14.27.51.jpg" alt="" width="1196" height="714" /> Credit: Pablo Benítez Lope / Alamy[/caption]

In the event that you can’t reach a safer place because your vehicle has broken down in a live lane, or you feel your life is in danger, don’t panic. The best thing to do is stay in your vehicle with your seatbelts and hazard lights on, and call 999 immediately so they can send help your way.

Now that you know all about making the most of smart motorways, you can make your summer road trip as smooth as possible. The only things left to worry about are who’s in control of the music, stopping at services for toilet breaks, and who’s ordering what from the next drive-thru.

So grab your mates, buckle up, and hit the road!
For more information about Smart Motorways, visit
<a href="https://nationalhighways.co.uk/road-safety/driving-on-motorways?utm_source=vtcowebsite&amp;utm_medium=Writtenarticle&amp;utm_campaign=May22&amp;utm_id=drivingonmotorways2">https://nationalhighways.co.uk/DrivingOnMotorways</a>

<h6>Featured Image Credit: Prostock-studio / Alamy</h6>

This is a sponsored article in partnership with National Highways…
Did you know that smart motorways without a hard shoulder make up around <a href="https://nationalhighways.co.uk/road-safety/driving-on-motorways?utm_source=vtcowebsite&amp;utm_medium=Writtenarticle&amp;utm_campaign=May22&amp;utm_id=drivingonmotorways2">10 percent of the motorway network</a>? That’s why it’s so important to be able to recognise their features and how they work together.
But what even is a smart motorway? And what should you expect to see and do differently when you find yourself driving along one?
Whether you’re planning a trip to the seaside or just driving home from uni, knowing the signs, signals and features of a smart motorway is sure to make your journey run smoother. Forget calling mum and dad in a fluster! With these tips and advice, you’ll be ready to stick on your favourite playlist, load up the boot, and head out on the summer road trip of dreams.
But first, a bit about smart motorways.
These state-of-the-art highways do all the same things as your basic road, but with high-tech features to help you get to your destination as conveniently and reliably as possible.
One of the main features to look out for is <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WY6vNFKWsOE">variable speed limits</a>. Unlike regular motorways - which have fixed speed limits - the maximum speed you can drive on a smart motorway changes, to help keep traffic moving or if there is an incident ahead.
<figure>
 <img class="wp-image-12632690 size-full" src="https://img.fournine.net/2022/06/Screenshot-2022-06-20-at-14.27.09.jpg" alt="" width="1196" height="798" /><figcaption class='op-vertical-below'>
<h1>

 Credit: National Highways (Supplied)</h1>
</figcaption></figure>
Why is this so smart? Well, when sensors positioned along the motorway detect a queue forming or an incident up ahead, they can slow down approaching traffic to prevent the road from getting too congested.
As we all know, it’s no fun sitting in standstill traffic after a hard day’s work or a long weekend away - especially when all you want to do is get home. Variable speed limits are a smart way of helping to keep traffic moving.
<figure>
 <img class="wp-image-12632691 size-full" src="https://img.fournine.net/2022/06/Screenshot-2022-06-20-at-14.27.19.jpg" alt="" width="1196" height="692" /><figcaption class='op-vertical-below'>
<h1>

 Credit: Prostock-studio / Alamy</h1>
</figcaption></figure>
Another thing to look out for is whether you are on a motorway where drivers can use the hard shoulder as a regular lane. On some smart motorways the hard shoulder can be used at peak times – you’ll know if it’s open because there will be a speed limit displayed on the sign above the hard shoulder. If this sign is blank or if it shows a red X, you must not use it and could be fined.
On other smart motorways there is no hard shoulder, all lanes are open to traffic, unless there is a red X displayed. Driving in a lane with a red X is illegal, dangerous, and could very well result in a hefty fine - which is the last thing you want to come home to after a blow-out road trip with the girls. If only all red flags were so easy to spot, hey?
Check out more information in the video below:
<figure class='op-interactive'><iframe class='column-width' width='560' height='315' src='https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p-T5HRzhKFM'></iframe></figure>
And <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RYgz9Rz5WDo">if your car runs into trouble</a> while you’re driving on a smart motorway, don’t panic.
A sudden breakdown on a busy road can be a daunting experience, but the purpose-built emergency areas on smart motorways mean you’ll be better equipped to perfectly handle the situation and get the help you need.
On smart motorways you’ll find orange emergency areas set back from the carriageway which are specifically intended for drivers to pull over, and seek assistance.
<figure>
 <img class="wp-image-12632692 size-full" src="https://img.fournine.net/2022/06/Screenshot-2022-06-20-at-14.27.28.jpg" alt="" width="1200" height="738" /><figcaption class='op-vertical-below'>
<h1>

 Credit: National Highways (Supplied)</h1>
</figcaption></figure>
These areas have telephones linking directly to regional control rooms and are set back from the road at regular intervals, so there should be somewhere to stop approximately every mile.
If you get into trouble on a motorway, you should always stay calm and try to exit at the next junction or motorway service area. However, if you can’t make it to either of these places you can put your left indicator on and move into the left lane. On a smart motorway, you can move into the next emergency area.
Once you’ve reached a place of safety, put your hazard lights on and stay out of the way of moving traffic by getting behind a barrier if there is one. If you’re in an emergency area, contact National Highways through the roadside phone or give them a ring on 0300 123 5000.
You should also then call your breakdown provider for help. Whatever you do, don’t try to rejoin the traffic until you’ve been advised by National Highways on the best way to do so. National Highways can close the lane to help you rejoin the motorway safely. They can also set signs and warn approaching traffic that you’re about to exit an emergency area.
<figure>
 <img class="size-full wp-image-12632693" src="https://img.fournine.net/2022/06/Screenshot-2022-06-20-at-14.27.51.jpg" alt="" width="1196" height="714" /><figcaption class='op-vertical-below'>
<h1>

 Credit: Pablo Benítez Lope / Alamy</h1>
</figcaption></figure>
In the event that you can’t reach a safer place because your vehicle has broken down in a live lane, or you feel your life is in danger, don’t panic. The best thing to do is stay in your vehicle with your seatbelts and hazard lights on, and call 999 immediately so they can send help your way.
Now that you know all about making the most of smart motorways, you can make your summer road trip as smooth as possible. The only things left to worry about are who’s in control of the music, stopping at services for toilet breaks, and who’s ordering what from the next drive-thru.
So grab your mates, buckle up, and hit the road!
For more information about Smart Motorways, visit 
<a href="https://nationalhighways.co.uk/road-safety/driving-on-motorways?utm_source=vtcowebsite&amp;utm_medium=Writtenarticle&amp;utm_campaign=May22&amp;utm_id=drivingonmotorways2">https://nationalhighways.co.uk/DrivingOnMotorways</a>
<h2>Featured Image Credit: Prostock-studio / Alamy</h2>

What to expect when driving on a smart motorway

In many ways, the relationship we have with ourselves is no different from our romantic relationships. Both require effort, commitment, understanding, and most of all, love.

The thing is, self-love is quite an easy thing to neglect in our busy lives. After all, many of us wouldn’t even consider it a necessity. We can get by just fine without taking the time to shower ourselves with love and affection, right?

But if getting by is your only aim, then, of course, denying yourself love is not going to be a priority. Unfortunately, though, if you don’t nurture the relationship you have with yourself, you run the risk of harming your mental, emotional, and physical wellbeing. 

The reality is, your own personal relationship with yourself is the most important one you will forge in your lifetime, and it’s vital you ensure it’s a happy and healthy one. 

So, whether you’re currently single or in a stable relationship, we’re encouraging you to date yourself. 

Now, this certainly doesn’t have to intrude on your actual love life - if anything, practicing self-love should complement your other relationships. Because when you’re able to accept yourself for all your flaws, quirks, and idiosyncrasies, there’s less of a risk of insecurities, jealousy, and self-sabotage plaguing your romantic relationships.

So, without further ado, here are eight things you can do to practice self-love.
<h2>1. Treat yourself to something special</h2>
[caption id="attachment_12632648" align="alignnone" width="2560"]<img class="size-full wp-image-12632648" src="https://img.fournine.net/2022/01/MB8PR7-scaled.jpg" alt="" width="2560" height="1707" /> Credit: Katarzyna Bialasiewicz / Alamy[/caption]

One of the many ways we show our other halves how much we adore them is by doing something special for them. Now, this could mean whisking them away on a surprise holiday, getting them tickets to a big game, or perhaps buying them dinner at a swanky restaurant in The Shard.

But when was the last time you treated yourself? Remember, your relationship with yourself is as important, if not more, than any of your other relationships. Be generous and loving with yourself. Show yourself how important and worthy you are.

And if you’re in need of any ideas, psychotherapist <a href="https://www.bacp.co.uk/profile/fd52ed27-5190-e711-80e8-3863bb351d40">Sam McCarthy</a> suggests “arranging a bouquet of flowers” or a “specially chosen gift” for ourselves as an “occasional pleasure”. She stresses, though, that while these occasional pleasures are a nice treat, acts that “demonstrate an acceptance and commitment of being true to ourselves are long-lasting and can serve to remind us of our capacity to love and to be loved.”
<h2>2. Prioritise your needs</h2>
[caption id="attachment_12632649" align="alignnone" width="2560"]<img class="size-full wp-image-12632649" src="https://img.fournine.net/2022/01/2A1659W-scaled.jpg" alt="" width="2560" height="1709" /> Credit: Westend61 GmbH / Alamy[/caption]

Know your worth and start making your own needs a priority. Of course, prioritising your needs isn’t a one-size-fits-all - it will look different from person to person depending on your particular lifestyle and circumstances. If you have children, for example, tending to their needs as well as your own is definitely something you’ll have to navigate. 

McCarthy tells Four Nine: “Asking ‘what are my needs?’ takes practice; listening to parts of ourselves that may at times be hard to hear. Attuning to our body, listening to our thoughts with curiosity and kindness can clear channels that once opened, allow us to trust our instincts and value our own position.”

To be clear, making your needs more of a priority certainly doesn’t mean you have to neglect your romantic partner or make them feel unimportant. It’s simply about ensuring that you’re not being left behind - that your need either for alone time, for an evening out with your friends, or perhaps some time off from the housework are being met. It’s something that you’ll definitely have to work around with the people you live with, but it’s entirely doable.
<h2 style="text-align: left;">3. Communicate with yourself in more compassionate ways</h2>
[caption id="attachment_12632650" align="alignnone" width="2560"]<img class="size-full wp-image-12632650" src="https://img.fournine.net/2022/01/P7BB46-scaled.jpg" alt="" width="2560" height="1707" /> Credit: Wavebreakmedia Ltd UC78 / Alamy[/caption]

Stop talking down to yourself. It’s toxic - even if it’s only in your head. You have immediate access to all of your thoughts, so if you’re constantly judging or scolding yourself, you’ll never get any respite from the negativity. Be your own safe haven. Talk to yourself the same way you would a good friend or a stranger in need. 

It may not be easy to switch from habitually talking down to yourself to instead communicating in a way that’s gentle and understanding. You may even think that you have no control over the thoughts that flow through your mind - but you’re the one who’s thinking them.

So, the next time you notice that you’re beating yourself up about something - perhaps over an interaction with an acquaintance that didn’t go particularly well - try to stop yourself in your tracks. Reason with yourself - is it really as bad as your thoughts are making it out to be. Will you even remember it a decade from now? If not, it probably isn’t all that significant.
<h2>4. Learn to be okay with not being okay</h2>
[caption id="attachment_12632651" align="alignnone" width="2560"]<img class="size-full wp-image-12632651" src="https://img.fournine.net/2022/01/P9E8MD-scaled.jpg" alt="" width="2560" height="1707" /> Credit: fabio camandona / Alamy[/caption]

We’re only human and sometimes being human means going through tough and emotionally trying times. Sometimes we become even more upset with ourselves because we’re upset in the first place. We’re so desperate to overcome our depression, our social anxiety, or devastation over a breakup that we forget that feeling not okay in these situations is completely normal. 

It becomes a vicious cycle we don’t know how to get out of. But you can learn how to treat your emotions with acceptance and let them pass naturally.

McCarthy tells us: “Connection and the knowledge that we are not isolated or going to be abandoned is crucial to our wellbeing, but we also need to learn to be okay with not being okay, that is, to accept ourselves, with every colour, shadow or light we embody.

“Giving ourselves permission to experience a full range of emotions affords us opportunities to meet the challenges life poses and develop resilience to bounce back. We humans are pretty good at brushing ourselves off and starting again. We’re pretty practiced at it - we just need to give ourselves the chance.”
<h2>5. Log off from social media</h2>
[caption id="attachment_12632652" align="alignnone" width="2560"]<img class="size-full wp-image-12632652" src="https://img.fournine.net/2022/01/KN79KP-scaled.jpg" alt="" width="2560" height="1703" /> Credit: Craig Stennett / Alamy[/caption]

Now, we’re not saying that you should get rid of social media completely - as it is a useful social tool in a lot of ways. But at the very least, refrain from using it religiously, and perhaps try to go without it completely for certain periods. 

Remember, the aim here is to essentially date yourself - and if you were spending time with a partner who seemed more interested in scrolling through Instagram than enjoying their time with you, that wouldn’t exactly bode well for your relationship and its longevity. 

McCarthy says: “Disconnecting from... from our social and digital attachments and really spending time getting to know ourselves a little better, may not immediately yield feelings of love, but this enquiry into self can bring about a relationship with the person we most need to be able to depend upon; ourselves.  ”

There are plenty of things you can do instead of mindlessly scrolling through your newsfeed. McCarthy suggests establishing a “connection with nature”. Or try walking “through hills, woodland, over rocks and to the sea, take time to engage all senses, mindfully attuning.  Digging in a garden, or an allotment, accepting the seasons,” she says.
<h2>6. Spend time doing something invigorating or meaningful</h2>
[caption id="attachment_12632653" align="alignnone" width="2560"]<img class="size-full wp-image-12632653" src="https://img.fournine.net/2022/01/M0GCHX-scaled.jpg" alt="" width="2560" height="1704" /> Credit: Lazyllama / Alamy[/caption]

Whenever you have free time, try not to waste it either by doing something mundane or something that won’t enrich your life in any way. Of course, having the occasional chilled-out day is completely fine, but every now and then, do something that will stimulate your mind and distract you from the everyday.

For example, you could try to explore your creative side. McCarthy tells Four Nine that activities around reading, writing, art, music, or poetry are a good start. She also suggests watching a “classic film with a friend, preferably a long one with an interval where you can share your thoughts and feelings about what you’ve been experiencing. ”

Perhaps you could make time for a “drink in a favourite cafe with time to watch the world go by” or learn something “you’ve always wanted to do but were afraid to,” McCarthy says.

Ultimately, if you spend more time doing things that are worthwhile and meaningful as opposed to banal and repetitive, you’ll get more enjoyment out of life, and you’ll begin to relish being in your own skin.
<h2>7. Treat your body well</h2>
[caption id="attachment_12632654" align="alignnone" width="1296"]<img class="size-full wp-image-12632654" src="https://img.fournine.net/2022/01/E59T86-1-e1643642026982.jpg" alt="" width="1296" height="841" /> Credit: caia image / Alamy[/caption]

As the old adage goes, your body is a temple. Having a physical form that allows us to get from A to B, to view stunning sights, and experience incredible tastes is something we take for granted. We should be showing our bodies how much we appreciate them by treating them well.

And you don’t have to overcomplicate it. McCarthy suggests simply taking time to “caress your own face as you would a beloved, really feel your skin’s response to your touch,” eating “well and slowly” and taking good care of your feet by wearing warm socks and comfortable shoes.

Truly loving yourself and your body means abstaining from things that might put it in harm’s way. Try to abstain from excessive alcohol and drug use and nourish your body with good food. 
<h2>8. Accept yourself for who you are </h2>
[caption id="attachment_12632620" align="alignnone" width="2560"]<img class="size-full wp-image-12632620" src="https://img.fournine.net/2022/01/2E4CTY6-scaled.jpg" alt="" width="2560" height="1709" /> Credit: mauritius images GmbH / Alamy[/caption]

We are all flawed, and, yes, working to better ourselves is incredibly important for our growth. But ultimately, there are certain aspects of our personality that are just intrinsically us.

Maybe we enjoy a very niche genre of music, or perhaps we have an odd sense of humour, or we have an unconventional dress sense - well, those are all things we should be celebrating rather than hiding from the world. 

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with being unique. So, you need to stop comparing yourself to others as it will only leave you feeling inadequate. If you’re scrolling through social media, pining for a life that resembles that of your peers - remember that they’re usually only showing the absolute highlights of their lives. 

You don’t have to dress, act, or socialise in a way that is identical to the people around you. Do what suits you, and you’ll be a lot freer in the long run.
<h6>Featured image credit: Andor Bujdoso / Alamy</h6>

In many ways, the relationship we have with ourselves is no different from our romantic relationships. Both require effort, commitment, understanding, and most of all, love.
The thing is, self-love is quite an easy thing to neglect in our busy lives. After all, many of us wouldn’t even consider it a necessity. We can get by just fine without taking the time to shower ourselves with love and affection, right?
But if getting by is your only aim, then, of course, denying yourself love is not going to be a priority. Unfortunately, though, if you don’t nurture the relationship you have with yourself, you run the risk of harming your mental, emotional, and physical wellbeing. 
The reality is, your own personal relationship with yourself is the most important one you will forge in your lifetime, and it’s vital you ensure it’s a happy and healthy one. 
So, whether you’re currently single or in a stable relationship, we’re encouraging you to date yourself. 
Now, this certainly doesn’t have to intrude on your actual love life - if anything, practicing self-love should complement your other relationships. Because when you’re able to accept yourself for all your flaws, quirks, and idiosyncrasies, there’s less of a risk of insecurities, jealousy, and self-sabotage plaguing your romantic relationships.
So, without further ado, here are eight things you can do to practice self-love.
<h2>1. Treat yourself to something special</h2>
<figure>
 <img class="size-full wp-image-12632648" src="https://img.fournine.net/2022/01/MB8PR7-scaled.jpg" alt="" width="2560" height="1707" /><figcaption class='op-vertical-below'>
<h1>

 Credit: Katarzyna Bialasiewicz / Alamy</h1>
</figcaption></figure>
One of the many ways we show our other halves how much we adore them is by doing something special for them. Now, this could mean whisking them away on a surprise holiday, getting them tickets to a big game, or perhaps buying them dinner at a swanky restaurant in The Shard.
But when was the last time you treated yourself? Remember, your relationship with yourself is as important, if not more, than any of your other relationships. Be generous and loving with yourself. Show yourself how important and worthy you are.
And if you’re in need of any ideas, psychotherapist <a href="https://www.bacp.co.uk/profile/fd52ed27-5190-e711-80e8-3863bb351d40">Sam McCarthy</a> suggests “arranging a bouquet of flowers” or a “specially chosen gift” for ourselves as an “occasional pleasure”. She stresses, though, that while these occasional pleasures are a nice treat, acts that “demonstrate an acceptance and commitment of being true to ourselves are long-lasting and can serve to remind us of our capacity to love and to be loved.”
<h2>2. Prioritise your needs</h2>
<figure>
 <img class="size-full wp-image-12632649" src="https://img.fournine.net/2022/01/2A1659W-scaled.jpg" alt="" width="2560" height="1709" /><figcaption class='op-vertical-below'>
<h1>

 Credit: Westend61 GmbH / Alamy</h1>
</figcaption></figure>
Know your worth and start making your own needs a priority. Of course, prioritising your needs isn’t a one-size-fits-all - it will look different from person to person depending on your particular lifestyle and circumstances. If you have children, for example, tending to their needs as well as your own is definitely something you’ll have to navigate. 
McCarthy tells Four Nine: “Asking ‘what are my needs?’ takes practice; listening to parts of ourselves that may at times be hard to hear. Attuning to our body, listening to our thoughts with curiosity and kindness can clear channels that once opened, allow us to trust our instincts and value our own position.”
To be clear, making your needs more of a priority certainly doesn’t mean you have to neglect your romantic partner or make them feel unimportant. It’s simply about ensuring that you’re not being left behind - that your need either for alone time, for an evening out with your friends, or perhaps some time off from the housework are being met. It’s something that you’ll definitely have to work around with the people you live with, but it’s entirely doable.
<h2 style="text-align: left;">3. Communicate with yourself in more compassionate ways</h2>
<figure>
 <img class="size-full wp-image-12632650" src="https://img.fournine.net/2022/01/P7BB46-scaled.jpg" alt="" width="2560" height="1707" /><figcaption class='op-vertical-below'>
<h1>

 Credit: Wavebreakmedia Ltd UC78 / Alamy</h1>
</figcaption></figure>
Stop talking down to yourself. It’s toxic - even if it’s only in your head. You have immediate access to all of your thoughts, so if you’re constantly judging or scolding yourself, you’ll never get any respite from the negativity. Be your own safe haven. Talk to yourself the same way you would a good friend or a stranger in need. 
It may not be easy to switch from habitually talking down to yourself to instead communicating in a way that’s gentle and understanding. You may even think that you have no control over the thoughts that flow through your mind - but you’re the one who’s thinking them.
So, the next time you notice that you’re beating yourself up about something - perhaps over an interaction with an acquaintance that didn’t go particularly well - try to stop yourself in your tracks. Reason with yourself - is it really as bad as your thoughts are making it out to be. Will you even remember it a decade from now? If not, it probably isn’t all that significant.
<h2>4. Learn to be okay with not being okay</h2>
<figure>
 <img class="size-full wp-image-12632651" src="https://img.fournine.net/2022/01/P9E8MD-scaled.jpg" alt="" width="2560" height="1707" /><figcaption class='op-vertical-below'>
<h1>

 Credit: fabio camandona / Alamy</h1>
</figcaption></figure>
We’re only human and sometimes being human means going through tough and emotionally trying times. Sometimes we become even more upset with ourselves because we’re upset in the first place. We’re so desperate to overcome our depression, our social anxiety, or devastation over a breakup that we forget that feeling not okay in these situations is completely normal. 
It becomes a vicious cycle we don’t know how to get out of. But you can learn how to treat your emotions with acceptance and let them pass naturally.
McCarthy tells us: “Connection and the knowledge that we are not isolated or going to be abandoned is crucial to our wellbeing, but we also need to learn to be okay with not being okay, that is, to accept ourselves, with every colour, shadow or light we embody.
“Giving ourselves permission to experience a full range of emotions affords us opportunities to meet the challenges life poses and develop resilience to bounce back. We humans are pretty good at brushing ourselves off and starting again. We’re pretty practiced at it - we just need to give ourselves the chance.”
<h2>5. Log off from social media</h2>
<figure>
 <img class="size-full wp-image-12632652" src="https://img.fournine.net/2022/01/KN79KP-scaled.jpg" alt="" width="2560" height="1703" /><figcaption class='op-vertical-below'>
<h1>

 Credit: Craig Stennett / Alamy</h1>
</figcaption></figure>
Now, we’re not saying that you should get rid of social media completely - as it is a useful social tool in a lot of ways. But at the very least, refrain from using it religiously, and perhaps try to go without it completely for certain periods. 
Remember, the aim here is to essentially date yourself - and if you were spending time with a partner who seemed more interested in scrolling through Instagram than enjoying their time with you, that wouldn’t exactly bode well for your relationship and its longevity. 
McCarthy says: “Disconnecting from... from our social and digital attachments and really spending time getting to know ourselves a little better, may not immediately yield feelings of love, but this enquiry into self can bring about a relationship with the person we most need to be able to depend upon; ourselves.  ”
There are plenty of things you can do instead of mindlessly scrolling through your newsfeed. McCarthy suggests establishing a “connection with nature”. Or try walking “through hills, woodland, over rocks and to the sea, take time to engage all senses, mindfully attuning.  Digging in a garden, or an allotment, accepting the seasons,” she says.
<h2>6. Spend time doing something invigorating or meaningful</h2>
<figure>
 <img class="size-full wp-image-12632653" src="https://img.fournine.net/2022/01/M0GCHX-scaled.jpg" alt="" width="2560" height="1704" /><figcaption class='op-vertical-below'>
<h1>

 Credit: Lazyllama / Alamy</h1>
</figcaption></figure>
Whenever you have free time, try not to waste it either by doing something mundane or something that won’t enrich your life in any way. Of course, having the occasional chilled-out day is completely fine, but every now and then, do something that will stimulate your mind and distract you from the everyday.
For example, you could try to explore your creative side. McCarthy tells Four Nine that activities around reading, writing, art, music, or poetry are a good start. She also suggests watching a “classic film with a friend, preferably a long one with an interval where you can share your thoughts and feelings about what you’ve been experiencing. ”
Perhaps you could make time for a “drink in a favourite cafe with time to watch the world go by” or learn something “you’ve always wanted to do but were afraid to,” McCarthy says.
Ultimately, if you spend more time doing things that are worthwhile and meaningful as opposed to banal and repetitive, you’ll get more enjoyment out of life, and you’ll begin to relish being in your own skin.
<h2>7. Treat your body well</h2>
<figure>
 <img class="size-full wp-image-12632654" src="https://img.fournine.net/2022/01/E59T86-1-e1643642026982.jpg" alt="" width="1296" height="841" /><figcaption class='op-vertical-below'>
<h1>

 Credit: caia image / Alamy</h1>
</figcaption></figure>
As the old adage goes, your body is a temple. Having a physical form that allows us to get from A to B, to view stunning sights, and experience incredible tastes is something we take for granted. We should be showing our bodies how much we appreciate them by treating them well.
And you don’t have to overcomplicate it. McCarthy suggests simply taking time to “caress your own face as you would a beloved, really feel your skin’s response to your touch,” eating “well and slowly” and taking good care of your feet by wearing warm socks and comfortable shoes.
Truly loving yourself and your body means abstaining from things that might put it in harm’s way. Try to abstain from excessive alcohol and drug use and nourish your body with good food. 
<h2>8. Accept yourself for who you are </h2>
<figure>
 <img class="size-full wp-image-12632620" src="https://img.fournine.net/2022/01/2E4CTY6-scaled.jpg" alt="" width="2560" height="1709" /><figcaption class='op-vertical-below'>
<h1>

 Credit: mauritius images GmbH / Alamy</h1>
</figcaption></figure>
We are all flawed, and, yes, working to better ourselves is incredibly important for our growth. But ultimately, there are certain aspects of our personality that are just intrinsically us.
Maybe we enjoy a very niche genre of music, or perhaps we have an odd sense of humour, or we have an unconventional dress sense - well, those are all things we should be celebrating rather than hiding from the world. 
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with being unique. So, you need to stop comparing yourself to others as it will only leave you feeling inadequate. If you’re scrolling through social media, pining for a life that resembles that of your peers - remember that they’re usually only showing the absolute highlights of their lives. 
You don’t have to dress, act, or socialise in a way that is identical to the people around you. Do what suits you, and you’ll be a lot freer in the long run.
<h2>Featured image credit: Andor Bujdoso / Alamy</h2>

How to date yourself: 8 things you can do to practice self-love

Contrary to popular belief, being alone and feeling lonely are not one and the same. While, in many cases, the former is a prerequisite for the latter, they can and do occur independently of each other. You can absolutely feel lonely without ever physically being alone, and in a similar vein, being on your own does not necessarily mean you’re experiencing loneliness...

Feeling lonely when you’re amongst other people stems from experiencing a disconnect between yourself and the people you’re with. You have company - yes. But it’s the superficial kind - not the kind that quenches your need for social contact. 

Being around other people can only curb your loneliness if you genuinely enjoy their company or have meaningful interactions with them. If you’re in a social situation that doesn't meet these criteria, regardless of whether or not you consider them a friend, being around them is no more likely to make you feel less lonely than pushing your shopping trolley through a crowd of people at your local supermarket. 

If anything, the former of the two situations is likely to make you feel more lonely - because intentionally spending time with people you have no connection with, friend or not, can be pretty soul-destroying. Whereas if you just so happen to be amongst people while doing your weekly shop, there’s no expectation for you to interact with those you have no connection with.

[caption id="attachment_12632644" align="alignnone" width="1300"]<img class="size-full wp-image-12632644" src="https://img.fournine.net/2022/01/D6D4MG-1-e1643036706416.jpg" alt="" width="1300" height="838" /> Credit: Jim West / Alamy[/caption]

Now, whether or not you are alone in any given situation is based purely on the cold, hard facts - it isn’t actually negative in itself. It simply means there are no other people in your immediate vicinity. Being lonely, on the other hand, is inherently negative. No one wants to feel lonely, but many of us desire alone time - and plenty of it.

Introverts, for instance, are naturally drawn to being by themselves - and so being alone could hardly be deemed a bad thing. In fact, for introverts, the negative feelings that come with loneliness are more likely to be felt when in the company of others. That’s because they typically gain energy when on their own and feel robbed of their energy when they’re in social situations. 

Integrative psychotherapist <a href="https://www.bacp.co.uk/profile/7c10ab16-867a-eb11-a812-000d3adc8b69">Gustavo Camilo</a> tells Four Nine: “Introverts tend not to connect easily with people they do not know. For them, loneliness can be experienced in a room full of people as it is not the number of people that determines their experience but the quality of the interaction taking place.”

The reason that the terms “alone” and “lonely” are so often conflated is partly due to our perception of being alone. Many of us assume that the only emotion that can come from regularly spending time by ourselves is loneliness. 

Just take a look at the words themselves - “alone” and “lonely”- and the arrangement of the letters. They’re clearly etymologically related. So, it’s pretty difficult to differentiate between the two considering, at their very core, they’re essentially seen as the same thing.

But if we were to instead use one of the synonyms of “alone”, we’d find that there would be much fewer negative connotations.

[caption id="attachment_12632645" align="alignnone" width="2560"]<img class="size-full wp-image-12632645" src="https://img.fournine.net/2022/01/TC7GWH-scaled.jpg" alt="" width="2560" height="1708" /> Credit: agefotostock / Alamy[/caption]

The word “solitude”, for example, essentially has the same meaning as “alone”. They’re both defined by an absence of company. The difference here is that unlike “alone”, when we use the word “solitude”, we’re normally referring to someone who is perfectly content being by themselves.

So, going back to the original point - while there may not immediately appear to be much of a difference between being alone and feeling lonely, counselling psychologist <a href="https://www.positum.co.uk/">Raluca Ursica</a> tells Four Nine: “There is a big difference between loneliness… and solitude…”

She says that loneliness can be “perceived as emotional and sometimes physical pain”, whereas solitude is a “choice to be alone and can bring self-awareness and calm.”

The thing is, though, very few of us actually use the word “solitude” - even in a positive way. It’s just not in most people’s everyday vocabulary. Even an introvert would be more likely to tell you, “I like being alone”, as opposed to, “I like solitude” - which goes to show that “alone” can be used in a positive way. Again, it’s simply an adjective to describe the absence of other people.  We, as individuals, project our own ideas onto the word - based on whether or not we personally enjoy being alone. 

Ultimately, the topic of loneliness is far too nuanced to suggest that the only natural consequence of being alone is feeling lonely. It’s not a one-size-fits-all concept; it occurs in different situations depending on the person. Being alone certainly can mean feeling lonely - but not necessarily. 

Broadly speaking, introverts are more likely to feel lonely in big groups of people whereas extroverts are more likely to feel lonely on their own. But in either situation, both feelings of loneliness are completely valid. 

So, if any of you are struggling with loneliness at the moment and are unsure as to why, we would first encourage you to discover whether you are an introvert or an extrovert. <a href="https://fournine.net/extrovert-introvert-quiz">Take our quiz to find out</a>.
<h6>Featured image credit: Mladen Mitrinovic / Alamy</h6>

Contrary to popular belief, being alone and feeling lonely are not one and the same. While, in many cases, the former is a prerequisite for the latter, they can and do occur independently of each other. You can absolutely feel lonely without ever physically being alone, and in a similar vein, being on your own does not necessarily mean you’re experiencing loneliness...
Feeling lonely when you’re amongst other people stems from experiencing a disconnect between yourself and the people you’re with. You have company - yes. But it’s the superficial kind - not the kind that quenches your need for social contact. 
Being around other people can only curb your loneliness if you genuinely enjoy their company or have meaningful interactions with them. If you’re in a social situation that doesn't meet these criteria, regardless of whether or not you consider them a friend, being around them is no more likely to make you feel less lonely than pushing your shopping trolley through a crowd of people at your local supermarket. 
If anything, the former of the two situations is likely to make you feel more lonely - because intentionally spending time with people you have no connection with, friend or not, can be pretty soul-destroying. Whereas if you just so happen to be amongst people while doing your weekly shop, there’s no expectation for you to interact with those you have no connection with.
<figure>
 <img class="size-full wp-image-12632644" src="https://img.fournine.net/2022/01/D6D4MG-1-e1643036706416.jpg" alt="" width="1300" height="838" /><figcaption class='op-vertical-below'>
<h1>

 Credit: Jim West / Alamy</h1>
</figcaption></figure>
Now, whether or not you are alone in any given situation is based purely on the cold, hard facts - it isn’t actually negative in itself. It simply means there are no other people in your immediate vicinity. Being lonely, on the other hand, is inherently negative. No one wants to feel lonely, but many of us desire alone time - and plenty of it.
Introverts, for instance, are naturally drawn to being by themselves - and so being alone could hardly be deemed a bad thing. In fact, for introverts, the negative feelings that come with loneliness are more likely to be felt when in the company of others. That’s because they typically gain energy when on their own and feel robbed of their energy when they’re in social situations. 
Integrative psychotherapist <a href="https://www.bacp.co.uk/profile/7c10ab16-867a-eb11-a812-000d3adc8b69">Gustavo Camilo</a> tells Four Nine: “Introverts tend not to connect easily with people they do not know. For them, loneliness can be experienced in a room full of people as it is not the number of people that determines their experience but the quality of the interaction taking place.”
The reason that the terms “alone” and “lonely” are so often conflated is partly due to our perception of being alone. Many of us assume that the only emotion that can come from regularly spending time by ourselves is loneliness. 
Just take a look at the words themselves - “alone” and “lonely”- and the arrangement of the letters. They’re clearly etymologically related. So, it’s pretty difficult to differentiate between the two considering, at their very core, they’re essentially seen as the same thing.
But if we were to instead use one of the synonyms of “alone”, we’d find that there would be much fewer negative connotations.
<figure>
 <img class="size-full wp-image-12632645" src="https://img.fournine.net/2022/01/TC7GWH-scaled.jpg" alt="" width="2560" height="1708" /><figcaption class='op-vertical-below'>
<h1>

 Credit: agefotostock / Alamy</h1>
</figcaption></figure>
The word “solitude”, for example, essentially has the same meaning as “alone”. They’re both defined by an absence of company. The difference here is that unlike “alone”, when we use the word “solitude”, we’re normally referring to someone who is perfectly content being by themselves.
So, going back to the original point - while there may not immediately appear to be much of a difference between being alone and feeling lonely, counselling psychologist <a href="https://www.positum.co.uk/">Raluca Ursica</a> tells Four Nine: “There is a big difference between loneliness… and solitude…”
She says that loneliness can be “perceived as emotional and sometimes physical pain”, whereas solitude is a “choice to be alone and can bring self-awareness and calm.”
The thing is, though, very few of us actually use the word “solitude” - even in a positive way. It’s just not in most people’s everyday vocabulary. Even an introvert would be more likely to tell you, “I like being alone”, as opposed to, “I like solitude” - which goes to show that “alone” can be used in a positive way. Again, it’s simply an adjective to describe the absence of other people.  We, as individuals, project our own ideas onto the word - based on whether or not we personally enjoy being alone. 
Ultimately, the topic of loneliness is far too nuanced to suggest that the only natural consequence of being alone is feeling lonely. It’s not a one-size-fits-all concept; it occurs in different situations depending on the person. Being alone certainly can mean feeling lonely - but not necessarily. 
Broadly speaking, introverts are more likely to feel lonely in big groups of people whereas extroverts are more likely to feel lonely on their own. But in either situation, both feelings of loneliness are completely valid. 
So, if any of you are struggling with loneliness at the moment and are unsure as to why, we would first encourage you to discover whether you are an introvert or an extrovert. <a href="https://fournine.net/extrovert-introvert-quiz">Take our quiz to find out</a>.
<h2>Featured image credit: Mladen Mitrinovic / Alamy</h2>

Being alone vs being lonely — what’s the difference?

Despite their reputation as one of our most sociable demographics, students are bearing the brunt of loneliness amid the ongoing Covid-19 pandemic.

Having partnered with YouGov on a survey on loneliness in the UK, Four Nine can reveal that 41% of full-time students feel lonelier now than they did before the pandemic. 

The study, conducted as part of our New Year’s Revolution campaign, also revealed that close to two-thirds (65%) of full-time students have felt lonely at some point.

The idea behind the campaign is to encourage people to join our loneliness rebellion by taking part in open discussions around feeling alone. We also hope to highlight that loneliness is actually a very nuanced concept. Being alone does not necessarily mean someone is lonely, and being surrounded by people does not rule out the possibility of loneliness.

[caption id="attachment_12632630" align="alignnone" width="889"]<img class="size-full wp-image-12632630" src="https://img.fournine.net/2022/01/2B8CEEK-1-e1642674662499.jpg" alt="" width="889" height="1247" /> Credit: True Images / Alamy[/caption]

There’s no denying, though, that the increased loneliness that many students have felt since the pandemic began comes largely as a result of being cut off from social contact for the best part of two years.

Amy, a 19-year-old student in Nottingham, tells Four Nine that she herself has felt noticeably lonelier since the pandemic.

She says this feeling was “heightened” by “being at university where I spent most of my day inside a tiny flat.”

Amy continues: “It has eased slightly as Covid restrictions have lifted, due to being able to see people and talk to my friends. However, I still get lonely and homesick regularly. Once a feeling of loneliness has set in, it’s hard to shake.”

Interestingly, though, her initial feeling of loneliness kicked in during a time when she was “surrounded by people.”

[caption id="attachment_12632628" align="alignnone" width="639"]<img class="wp-image-12632628 size-full" src="https://img.fournine.net/2022/01/Screen-Shot-2022-01-20-at-10.17.22.png" alt="" width="639" height="634" /> Credit: Amy (Supplied)[/caption]

The teen explains: “I experienced loneliness during my first year at university. I had just moved to a new city, surrounded by people I didn’t know very well. This meant I didn’t feel comfortable talking to anyone about things that were worrying me, which ultimately resulted in a decline in my confidence and had an impact on my mental health at the time.”

Identifying the issue is the first step to overcoming it, but, unfortunately, a majority of Brits believe there isn’t sufficient support available for those who feel isolated. 

In fact, we found that nearly two-thirds (59%) of women believe there is not enough support in the UK for those who feel lonely.

If this lack of support persists and the issue is left to fester, then these concerning statistics may only become more of a cause for concern later down the line - particularly for young adults.

Our groundbreaking study has shown that only 11% of 18-24-year-olds say they never feel lonely, compared to 40% of those aged over 55. Even more worryingly, just 6% of full-time students report never feeling lonely.

[caption id="attachment_12632631" align="alignnone" width="2560"]<img class="size-full wp-image-12632631" src="https://img.fournine.net/2022/01/KGMRFN-scaled.jpg" alt="" width="2560" height="1707" /> Credit: Mladen Mitrinovic / Alamy[/caption]

Finding ways to resolve these feelings of loneliness may prove difficult as many are reluctant to open up about it.

More than half (52%) of the female participants who felt uncomfortable telling others that they were lonely explained that the reason for this was that they felt too embarrassed.

Meanwhile, 20% of the respondents felt there was shame in talking about loneliness, and 43% were worried they would become a burden if they spoke openly about how they felt.

This feeling of shame and embarrassment resonates with Amy, who told Four Nine: “I am now an adult and feel as though I should be independent, which makes it hard to admit feelings of loneliness to other students, but I feel a lot of us are in the same boat. Our university does offer help to students such as quiet areas and people to talk to, however this can also feel embarrassing and is very much stigmatised amongst students.”

Kate, a 20-year-old student in Liverpool, can also relate to feeling ashamed of being lonely.

[caption id="attachment_12632627" align="aligncenter" width="469"]<img class="wp-image-12632627 size-full" src="https://img.fournine.net/2022/01/Screen-Shot-2022-01-20-at-10.16.45.png" alt="" width="469" height="627" /> Credit: Kate (Supplied)[/caption]

She tells us: “I often feel embarrassed to admit I feel lonely, as I think it’s expected for university students to always be having fun. Especially since Covid and being stuck at home, now restrictions are lifting I find it more embarrassing to still be feeling lonely. 

“When I’m surrounded by family and friends, I struggle to admit I feel lonely. As restrictions are lifted, and life gets back to normal, I still have feelings of loneliness, which I didn’t expect - this makes it even harder to talk about. I haven’t told many people, even when I’m surrounded by family and friends I still struggle to admit it.”

Like Amy, Kate has also moved to an entirely different city for university, and she has struggled with the lack of in-person contact with her friends and family back home.

She shares: “The lack of intimate or ‘real’ relationships means I’ve often struggled with feeling lonely, even when I’m surrounded by many people, it can leave me feeling very disconnected with society and life.”

Kate also felt that the pandemic had increased her feelings of loneliness, admitting to “feeling trapped” in her bedroom.

[caption id="attachment_12632632" align="alignnone" width="2560"]<img class="size-full wp-image-12632632" src="https://img.fournine.net/2022/01/2BKT55B-scaled.jpg" alt="" width="2560" height="1707" /> Credit: Kay Roxby / Alamy[/caption]

She explains: “I wasn’t able to make many friends at university especially during freshers, which has left me feeling quite alone and sad. Even since restrictions have lifted, my loneliness still remains. And I feel like I have missed out on opportunities that I’ll never get back.”

Unsurprisingly, these feelings of loneliness have largely impacted the mental health of those affected by the issue. In fact, over two-thirds (67%) of full-time students reported this to be the case.

For 67% of the full-time students who felt lonelier since the pandemic, the main cause of their loneliness was a lack of real, physical contact that doesn’t involve the virtual world.

24% of students hold the advancement of technology accountable for its role in causing loneliness. Naturally, 40% believe that the availability of in-person support groups would help to resolve the issue.

Interestingly, the study also revealed that at 31%, women were slightly more liable to feeling increased loneliness since the pandemic than men at 27%.

Meanwhile, 39% of those with three or more young children say they feel lonelier now than they did prior to the pandemic, whereas 29% of those with no children reported the same.

[[tiktokwidget||https://www.tiktok.com/@four.nine/video/7054965291507354886]]

Dr Linda Papadopoulos, who is supporting Four Nine’s New Year’s Revolution campaign, has shared her concerns about the findings of the study, as well as suggestions on how to combat feelings of loneliness.

She says: “Firstly, we know that human beings can be profoundly impacted by loneliness, we are inherently social and so connection and interaction is a fundamental human need that is core to both physical and mental health. 

“Secondly, there are several studies to suggest that loneliness and the lack of social connection can have a profound impact on wellbeing and mental health which often leads to more social isolation as a means to cope, setting up a vicious cycle that is difficult to break out of. 

“Finally, living through a pandemic, which in effect requires people to self-isolate, has meant that we have encouraged a type of social anxiety, which not only feeds into loneliness but has the potential to make it more difficult to re-engage with others now that we are slowly beginning to get back to normal. 

“What we actually need to normalise is the ability to talk about loneliness without shame, and help each other reconnect meaningfully.”
<h6>Featured image credit: Mladen Mitrinovic / Alamy</h6>

Despite their reputation as one of our most sociable demographics, students are bearing the brunt of loneliness amid the ongoing Covid-19 pandemic.
Having partnered with YouGov on a survey on loneliness in the UK, Four Nine can reveal that 41% of full-time students feel lonelier now than they did before the pandemic. 
The study, conducted as part of our New Year’s Revolution campaign, also revealed that close to two-thirds (65%) of full-time students have felt lonely at some point.
The idea behind the campaign is to encourage people to join our loneliness rebellion by taking part in open discussions around feeling alone. We also hope to highlight that loneliness is actually a very nuanced concept. Being alone does not necessarily mean someone is lonely, and being surrounded by people does not rule out the possibility of loneliness.
<figure>
 <img class="size-full wp-image-12632630" src="https://img.fournine.net/2022/01/2B8CEEK-1-e1642674662499.jpg" alt="" width="889" height="1247" /><figcaption class='op-vertical-below'>
<h1>

 Credit: True Images / Alamy</h1>
</figcaption></figure>
There’s no denying, though, that the increased loneliness that many students have felt since the pandemic began comes largely as a result of being cut off from social contact for the best part of two years.
Amy, a 19-year-old student in Nottingham, tells Four Nine that she herself has felt noticeably lonelier since the pandemic.
She says this feeling was “heightened” by “being at university where I spent most of my day inside a tiny flat.”
Amy continues: “It has eased slightly as Covid restrictions have lifted, due to being able to see people and talk to my friends. However, I still get lonely and homesick regularly. Once a feeling of loneliness has set in, it’s hard to shake.”
Interestingly, though, her initial feeling of loneliness kicked in during a time when she was “surrounded by people.”
<figure>
 <img class="wp-image-12632628 size-full" src="https://img.fournine.net/2022/01/Screen-Shot-2022-01-20-at-10.17.22.png" alt="" width="639" height="634" /><figcaption class='op-vertical-below'>
<h1>

 Credit: Amy (Supplied)</h1>
</figcaption></figure>
The teen explains: “I experienced loneliness during my first year at university. I had just moved to a new city, surrounded by people I didn’t know very well. This meant I didn’t feel comfortable talking to anyone about things that were worrying me, which ultimately resulted in a decline in my confidence and had an impact on my mental health at the time.”
Identifying the issue is the first step to overcoming it, but, unfortunately, a majority of Brits believe there isn’t sufficient support available for those who feel isolated. 
In fact, we found that nearly two-thirds (59%) of women believe there is not enough support in the UK for those who feel lonely.
If this lack of support persists and the issue is left to fester, then these concerning statistics may only become more of a cause for concern later down the line - particularly for young adults.
Our groundbreaking study has shown that only 11% of 18-24-year-olds say they never feel lonely, compared to 40% of those aged over 55. Even more worryingly, just 6% of full-time students report never feeling lonely.
<figure>
 <img class="size-full wp-image-12632631" src="https://img.fournine.net/2022/01/KGMRFN-scaled.jpg" alt="" width="2560" height="1707" /><figcaption class='op-vertical-below'>
<h1>

 Credit: Mladen Mitrinovic / Alamy</h1>
</figcaption></figure>
Finding ways to resolve these feelings of loneliness may prove difficult as many are reluctant to open up about it.
More than half (52%) of the female participants who felt uncomfortable telling others that they were lonely explained that the reason for this was that they felt too embarrassed.
Meanwhile, 20% of the respondents felt there was shame in talking about loneliness, and 43% were worried they would become a burden if they spoke openly about how they felt.
This feeling of shame and embarrassment resonates with Amy, who told Four Nine: “I am now an adult and feel as though I should be independent, which makes it hard to admit feelings of loneliness to other students, but I feel a lot of us are in the same boat. Our university does offer help to students such as quiet areas and people to talk to, however this can also feel embarrassing and is very much stigmatised amongst students.”
Kate, a 20-year-old student in Liverpool, can also relate to feeling ashamed of being lonely.
<figure>
 <img class="wp-image-12632627 size-full" src="https://img.fournine.net/2022/01/Screen-Shot-2022-01-20-at-10.16.45.png" alt="" width="469" height="627" /><figcaption class='op-vertical-below'>
<h1>

 Credit: Kate (Supplied)</h1>
</figcaption></figure>
She tells us: “I often feel embarrassed to admit I feel lonely, as I think it’s expected for university students to always be having fun. Especially since Covid and being stuck at home, now restrictions are lifting I find it more embarrassing to still be feeling lonely. 
“When I’m surrounded by family and friends, I struggle to admit I feel lonely. As restrictions are lifted, and life gets back to normal, I still have feelings of loneliness, which I didn’t expect - this makes it even harder to talk about. I haven’t told many people, even when I’m surrounded by family and friends I still struggle to admit it.”
Like Amy, Kate has also moved to an entirely different city for university, and she has struggled with the lack of in-person contact with her friends and family back home.
She shares: “The lack of intimate or ‘real’ relationships means I’ve often struggled with feeling lonely, even when I’m surrounded by many people, it can leave me feeling very disconnected with society and life.”
Kate also felt that the pandemic had increased her feelings of loneliness, admitting to “feeling trapped” in her bedroom.
<figure>
 <img class="size-full wp-image-12632632" src="https://img.fournine.net/2022/01/2BKT55B-scaled.jpg" alt="" width="2560" height="1707" /><figcaption class='op-vertical-below'>
<h1>

 Credit: Kay Roxby / Alamy</h1>
</figcaption></figure>
She explains: “I wasn’t able to make many friends at university especially during freshers, which has left me feeling quite alone and sad. Even since restrictions have lifted, my loneliness still remains. And I feel like I have missed out on opportunities that I’ll never get back.”
Unsurprisingly, these feelings of loneliness have largely impacted the mental health of those affected by the issue. In fact, over two-thirds (67%) of full-time students reported this to be the case.
For 67% of the full-time students who felt lonelier since the pandemic, the main cause of their loneliness was a lack of real, physical contact that doesn’t involve the virtual world.
24% of students hold the advancement of technology accountable for its role in causing loneliness. Naturally, 40% believe that the availability of in-person support groups would help to resolve the issue.
Interestingly, the study also revealed that at 31%, women were slightly more liable to feeling increased loneliness since the pandemic than men at 27%.
Meanwhile, 39% of those with three or more young children say they feel lonelier now than they did prior to the pandemic, whereas 29% of those with no children reported the same.

Dr Linda Papadopoulos, who is supporting Four Nine’s New Year’s Revolution campaign, has shared her concerns about the findings of the study, as well as suggestions on how to combat feelings of loneliness.
She says: “Firstly, we know that human beings can be profoundly impacted by loneliness, we are inherently social and so connection and interaction is a fundamental human need that is core to both physical and mental health. 
“Secondly, there are several studies to suggest that loneliness and the lack of social connection can have a profound impact on wellbeing and mental health which often leads to more social isolation as a means to cope, setting up a vicious cycle that is difficult to break out of. 
“Finally, living through a pandemic, which in effect requires people to self-isolate, has meant that we have encouraged a type of social anxiety, which not only feeds into loneliness but has the potential to make it more difficult to re-engage with others now that we are slowly beginning to get back to normal. 
“What we actually need to normalise is the ability to talk about loneliness without shame, and help each other reconnect meaningfully.”
<h2>Featured image credit: Mladen Mitrinovic / Alamy</h2>

Students suffer increased rates of loneliness as impact of the pandemic continues to be revealed

Making friends as a child was a relatively easy feat. For one thing, we lacked the inhibitions to care whether asking another kid point-blank “do you want to be my friend?” was a strange opener. And let’s face it, we were also a lot less picky where friendships were concerned. If they were about our age, the chances were they would enjoy playing hide and seek as much as the next five-year-old - and that was good enough for us.

However, by the time we reach adulthood, for some of us, our ability to make new friends comes to a bit of a standstill. We work long hours, have fewer holidays, less downtime, and more responsibilities. We’re also now a lot more selective where potential friends are concerned. 

And the thing is, once we’re at a certain age, it’s safe to assume that most of our peers have already established lifelong friendships - so presumably aren’t looking for new ones. It can seem impossible to determine which of our fellow grown-ups are open to making a new pal or two. So, unlike our five-year-old selves, we shudder at the thought of making the first move - even if we’re secretly longing for a close friend.

If this sounds like you, it may be time to overcome your hang-ups and start proactively seeking out quality friendships. Doing so will put you in “good stead for the future regarding your mental health,” person-centred counsellor <a href="https://www.bacp.co.uk/profile/591f9423-79f8-e811-a959-000d3aba6189/therapist?location=Manchester">Joanne Slack</a> tells Four Nine.  

So, without further ado, here are five ways you can make friends well into adulthood. 
<h2>1. Take part in group activities</h2>
[caption id="attachment_12632617" align="alignnone" width="1300"]<img class="size-full wp-image-12632617" src="https://img.fournine.net/2022/01/2FM6WXR-1-e1642670960777.jpg" alt="" width="1300" height="806" /> Credit: Andriy Popov / Alamy[/caption]

There are plenty of group activities and clubs you can get involved in if you're looking to make new connections, and hopefully even new friends. Counsellors <a href="https://www.bacp.co.uk/profile/c5eaf2d6-7c03-e911-a961-000d3aba6f7c">Linda Fox</a> and <a href="https://www.hannahsmartcounselling.co.uk/">Hannah Smart</a> have kindly shared with Four Nine an extensive list of groups and activities that will, at the very least, allow you to make new acquaintances. 

These include life drawing classes, singing groups, short college courses, book clubs, local sports teams, dance clubs, running groups, drama clubs, volunteering for charities and the list goes on. 

The aim is to meet “like-minded people”, Slack says. But it’s also important that you do something that you enjoy as opposed to something that you’ll give up on sooner or later. So if none of the activities mentioned tickle your fancy, Smart says it can “help to look to your past for inspiration”. Ask yourself what games or activities you relished as a child and go from there.

It can also be a good idea to try something entirely new. And if you feel apprehensive about that, Fox strongly advises that you resist the temptation of talking yourself out of it. She says: “If it’s out of your comfort zone, then even more reason to try it. Reframe any negative reaction and turn it into a positive challenge. How do you know you won’t like something unless you try?”

And if you’re someone who feels anxious meeting new people, try and find comfort in the fact that having an activity in place can “help reduce some of the social awkwardness,” Smart adds.
<h2>2. Be authentic</h2>
[caption id="attachment_12632618" align="alignnone" width="2560"]<img class="wp-image-12632618 size-full" src="https://img.fournine.net/2022/01/2CNFH21-scaled.jpg" alt="" width="2560" height="1671" /> Credit: DisobeyArt / Alamy[/caption]

Long-lasting friendships are rarely born out of putting on a facade or being false. It just isn’t sustainable in the long term. Besides, you want your closest friends to like you for you. Otherwise, the friendship simply isn’t a genuine one and probably won’t fulfil your need for close companionship.

“Be yourself and don’t try to change to fit in,” Fox says. “You don’t need to with genuine friends. Be honest about who you are and what you like to do, and you may find mutual interests and hobbies you can share with someone else.”  

If you’re trying too hard to connect with someone, it may be that they’re not the right fit for you - and that’s OK! The phrase, “there’s someone out there for everyone” springs to mind here - and it absolutely applies to friendships too. You should want to be around your buddies - rather than see it as a chore.

In fact, Slack emphasises the importance of having fun with friends. Ultimately, that’s what they’re there for. Of course, during tough times, a good pal will give you a shoulder to cry on, but ultimately, we hang out with our friends because we enjoy their company. So, if there’s no fun in your existing friendships, try and find a person who you’re less filtered with; someone you can really let loose with.

“Be yourself, don't try too hard, have fun, enjoy, and share your life experiences,” Slack says. “When you can be your true self around people, that's when you can open up more. Positivity shows through and others are drawn to this.”
<h2>3. Reconnect with old acquaintances</h2>
[caption id="attachment_12632619" align="alignnone" width="1300"]<img class="size-full wp-image-12632619" src="https://img.fournine.net/2022/01/2GX71TN-1-e1642671117134.jpg" alt="" width="1300" height="799" /> Credit: Lars Hagberg / Alamy[/caption]

While it is absolutely recommended that you look for new connections, it may also help to reacquaint yourself with people from your past. Who knows? You may one day be joined at the hip with the girl who lived in your apartment building five years ago. And all because of one daring message.

Smart says: “We live in a time where it's easier to be in touch than ever before, but in the age of social media, the depth of these connections is often lacking. Take that extra step to message someone directly instead of just commenting on their Facebook post.

“If you see that an old school friend is moving to your city or has a shared interest with you, why not get in touch to see if they'd like to meet up? Often, it can be easier to rekindle old friendships than make entirely new ones.”

It can be daunting to make the first move, especially if it isn’t in your nature to do so, but keep your mind focused on just how rewarding the end result might be. All it takes is a simple message - one message that could potentially turn into a lifelong friendship. 

And yes, it is entirely possible that the person on the receiving end of your message will show a distinct lack of interest; they may even leave you on read, but if you don’t try, you risk missing out.
<h2>4. Show everyone your pearly whites</h2>
[caption id="attachment_12632620" align="alignnone" width="2560"]<img class="size-full wp-image-12632620" src="https://img.fournine.net/2022/01/2E4CTY6-scaled.jpg" alt="" width="2560" height="1709" /> Credit: mauritius images GmbH / Alamy[/caption]

Remember to flash your warmest smile when around others. This may appear to be quite a basic pointer; you may even think it’s not proactive enough. But just cast your mind back to the last time a stranger or acquaintance smiled at you unprovoked. Did it make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside? That’s because a smiling face is a disarming one and it instantly makes you more approachable.

Fox says: “Our faces communicate constantly and any unease we feel in social situations can unwittingly show. Yet the brain can’t distinguish between a real smile and a fake one, so even if you don’t feel like it, smile.” 

She adds: “Smiling releases ‘happy hormones’ of endorphins and serotonin, which instantly relaxes us and makes us feel good. Smiling gives off positive vibes and we look friendly and approachable.”

And if you're concerned that a smile alone won’t lead to the close friendship you’ve been longing for, then just think of it as an icebreaker. Smiling at someone will instantly make you likable to the person on the receiving end of your smile, they’ll most likely smile back and that’s when you go in for the kill.

“A simple smile followed by a ‘hi’ can start a conversation and go a long way,” Fox says. “When we smile, our eyes smile too, so this works even when wearing masks.”
<h2>5. Practice your social skills</h2>
[caption id="attachment_12632621" align="alignnone" width="2560"]<img class="size-full wp-image-12632621" src="https://img.fournine.net/2022/01/PEYYG7-scaled.jpg" alt="" width="2560" height="1707" /> Credit: Albert Shakirov / Alamy[/caption]

If you’re someone who finds it difficult holding conversations with people, perhaps because you have anxiety or because you just aren’t accustomed to it, try to use your daily encounters with people to develop your social skills.

Fox says: “Every conversation you have, whether it’s with a neighbour, a shopkeeper, or a work colleague, helps you practice your social skills. This will gradually increase your confidence and it will naturally become easier to chat to new people in the future.”

Don’t let any negative encounters put you off because, as you likely already know, not every person you come across will be willing to engage in friendly conversation. In fact, the more difficult encounters can help you learn how to better handle conversations with people who aren’t really giving much back.

You may come to find that social interaction isn’t quite as terrifying as you once thought. Ultimately, most people are too wrapped up in their own lives and their own particular flaws to focus on how well you perform in social settings.

And just like you, there are countless others who long for platonic connections. So if you’re essentially offering them your friendship on a platter - provided they’re the right fit for you - they’d most likely be more than happy to accept.
<h6>Featured image credit: Stefan Dahl Langstrup / Alamy</h6>

Making friends as a child was a relatively easy feat. For one thing, we lacked the inhibitions to care whether asking another kid point-blank “do you want to be my friend?” was a strange opener. And let’s face it, we were also a lot less picky where friendships were concerned. If they were about our age, the chances were they would enjoy playing hide and seek as much as the next five-year-old - and that was good enough for us.
However, by the time we reach adulthood, for some of us, our ability to make new friends comes to a bit of a standstill. We work long hours, have fewer holidays, less downtime, and more responsibilities. We’re also now a lot more selective where potential friends are concerned. 
And the thing is, once we’re at a certain age, it’s safe to assume that most of our peers have already established lifelong friendships - so presumably aren’t looking for new ones. It can seem impossible to determine which of our fellow grown-ups are open to making a new pal or two. So, unlike our five-year-old selves, we shudder at the thought of making the first move - even if we’re secretly longing for a close friend.
If this sounds like you, it may be time to overcome your hang-ups and start proactively seeking out quality friendships. Doing so will put you in “good stead for the future regarding your mental health,” person-centred counsellor <a href="https://www.bacp.co.uk/profile/591f9423-79f8-e811-a959-000d3aba6189/therapist?location=Manchester">Joanne Slack</a> tells Four Nine.  
So, without further ado, here are five ways you can make friends well into adulthood. 
<h2>1. Take part in group activities</h2>
<figure>
 <img class="size-full wp-image-12632617" src="https://img.fournine.net/2022/01/2FM6WXR-1-e1642670960777.jpg" alt="" width="1300" height="806" /><figcaption class='op-vertical-below'>
<h1>

 Credit: Andriy Popov / Alamy</h1>
</figcaption></figure>
There are plenty of group activities and clubs you can get involved in if you're looking to make new connections, and hopefully even new friends. Counsellors <a href="https://www.bacp.co.uk/profile/c5eaf2d6-7c03-e911-a961-000d3aba6f7c">Linda Fox</a> and <a href="https://www.hannahsmartcounselling.co.uk/">Hannah Smart</a> have kindly shared with Four Nine an extensive list of groups and activities that will, at the very least, allow you to make new acquaintances. 
These include life drawing classes, singing groups, short college courses, book clubs, local sports teams, dance clubs, running groups, drama clubs, volunteering for charities and the list goes on. 
The aim is to meet “like-minded people”, Slack says. But it’s also important that you do something that you enjoy as opposed to something that you’ll give up on sooner or later. So if none of the activities mentioned tickle your fancy, Smart says it can “help to look to your past for inspiration”. Ask yourself what games or activities you relished as a child and go from there.
It can also be a good idea to try something entirely new. And if you feel apprehensive about that, Fox strongly advises that you resist the temptation of talking yourself out of it. She says: “If it’s out of your comfort zone, then even more reason to try it. Reframe any negative reaction and turn it into a positive challenge. How do you know you won’t like something unless you try?”
And if you’re someone who feels anxious meeting new people, try and find comfort in the fact that having an activity in place can “help reduce some of the social awkwardness,” Smart adds.
<h2>2. Be authentic</h2>
<figure>
 <img class="wp-image-12632618 size-full" src="https://img.fournine.net/2022/01/2CNFH21-scaled.jpg" alt="" width="2560" height="1671" /><figcaption class='op-vertical-below'>
<h1>

 Credit: DisobeyArt / Alamy</h1>
</figcaption></figure>
Long-lasting friendships are rarely born out of putting on a facade or being false. It just isn’t sustainable in the long term. Besides, you want your closest friends to like you for you. Otherwise, the friendship simply isn’t a genuine one and probably won’t fulfil your need for close companionship.
“Be yourself and don’t try to change to fit in,” Fox says. “You don’t need to with genuine friends. Be honest about who you are and what you like to do, and you may find mutual interests and hobbies you can share with someone else.”  
If you’re trying too hard to connect with someone, it may be that they’re not the right fit for you - and that’s OK! The phrase, “there’s someone out there for everyone” springs to mind here - and it absolutely applies to friendships too. You should want to be around your buddies - rather than see it as a chore.
In fact, Slack emphasises the importance of having fun with friends. Ultimately, that’s what they’re there for. Of course, during tough times, a good pal will give you a shoulder to cry on, but ultimately, we hang out with our friends because we enjoy their company. So, if there’s no fun in your existing friendships, try and find a person who you’re less filtered with; someone you can really let loose with.
“Be yourself, don't try too hard, have fun, enjoy, and share your life experiences,” Slack says. “When you can be your true self around people, that's when you can open up more. Positivity shows through and others are drawn to this.”
<h2>3. Reconnect with old acquaintances</h2>
<figure>
 <img class="size-full wp-image-12632619" src="https://img.fournine.net/2022/01/2GX71TN-1-e1642671117134.jpg" alt="" width="1300" height="799" /><figcaption class='op-vertical-below'>
<h1>

 Credit: Lars Hagberg / Alamy</h1>
</figcaption></figure>
While it is absolutely recommended that you look for new connections, it may also help to reacquaint yourself with people from your past. Who knows? You may one day be joined at the hip with the girl who lived in your apartment building five years ago. And all because of one daring message.
Smart says: “We live in a time where it's easier to be in touch than ever before, but in the age of social media, the depth of these connections is often lacking. Take that extra step to message someone directly instead of just commenting on their Facebook post.
“If you see that an old school friend is moving to your city or has a shared interest with you, why not get in touch to see if they'd like to meet up? Often, it can be easier to rekindle old friendships than make entirely new ones.”
It can be daunting to make the first move, especially if it isn’t in your nature to do so, but keep your mind focused on just how rewarding the end result might be. All it takes is a simple message - one message that could potentially turn into a lifelong friendship. 
And yes, it is entirely possible that the person on the receiving end of your message will show a distinct lack of interest; they may even leave you on read, but if you don’t try, you risk missing out.
<h2>4. Show everyone your pearly whites</h2>
<figure>
 <img class="size-full wp-image-12632620" src="https://img.fournine.net/2022/01/2E4CTY6-scaled.jpg" alt="" width="2560" height="1709" /><figcaption class='op-vertical-below'>
<h1>

 Credit: mauritius images GmbH / Alamy</h1>
</figcaption></figure>
Remember to flash your warmest smile when around others. This may appear to be quite a basic pointer; you may even think it’s not proactive enough. But just cast your mind back to the last time a stranger or acquaintance smiled at you unprovoked. Did it make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside? That’s because a smiling face is a disarming one and it instantly makes you more approachable.
Fox says: “Our facescommunicate constantly and any unease we feel in social situations can unwittingly show. Yet the brain can’t distinguish between a real smile and a fake one, so even if you don’t feel like it, smile.” 
She adds: “Smiling releases ‘happy hormones’ of endorphins and serotonin, which instantly relaxes us and makes us feel good. Smiling gives off positive vibes and we look friendly and approachable.”
And if you're concerned that a smile alone won’t lead to the close friendship you’ve been longing for, then just think of it as an icebreaker. Smiling at someone will instantly make you likable to the person on the receiving end of your smile, they’ll most likely smile back and that’s when you go in for the kill.
“A simple smile followed by a ‘hi’ can start a conversation and go a long way,” Fox says. “When we smile, our eyes smile too, so this works even when wearing masks.”
<h2>5. Practice your social skills</h2>
<figure>
 <img class="size-full wp-image-12632621" src="https://img.fournine.net/2022/01/PEYYG7-scaled.jpg" alt="" width="2560" height="1707" /><figcaption class='op-vertical-below'>
<h1>

 Credit: Albert Shakirov / Alamy</h1>
</figcaption></figure>
If you’re someone who finds it difficult holding conversations with people, perhaps because you have anxiety or because you just aren’t accustomed to it, try to use your daily encounters with people to develop your social skills.
Fox says: “Every conversation you have, whether it’s with a neighbour, a shopkeeper, or a work colleague, helps you practice your social skills. This will gradually increase your confidence and it will naturally become easier to chat to new people in the future.”
Don’t let any negative encounters put you off because, as you likely already know, not every person you come across will be willing to engage in friendly conversation. In fact, the more difficult encounters can help you learn how to better handle conversations with people who aren’t really giving much back.
You may come to find that social interaction isn’t quite as terrifying as you once thought. Ultimately, most people are too wrapped up in their own lives and their own particular flaws to focus on how well you perform in social settings.
And just like you, there are countless others who long for platonic connections. So if you’re essentially offering them your friendship on a platter - provided they’re the right fit for you - they’d most likely be more than happy to accept.
<h2>Featured image credit: Stefan Dahl Langstrup / Alamy</h2>

5 ways you can make friends well into adulthood

As the old adage goes, friends are the family we choose. If this rings true for you, the importance of holding on to a good friendship should be self-evident.

The truth is, close friendships are some of the most fulfilling aspects of our existence - and for good reason. Our platonic pals play an “important role in allowing us to feel validated, valued, and understood,” counsellor <a href="https://petetobiascounselling.co.uk/">Pete Tobias</a> tells Four Nine.

And it goes a lot deeper than, say, being able to bend someone’s ear over a boozy brunch. According to Tobias, connecting with other people is an “essential part of our survival.”

Now, establishing meaningful friendships is one thing, but retaining them is an entirely different kettle of fish.

Typically, the further we go in life, work and family commitments will gradually take precedence over a girls' night out or catch-ups over coffee.

While there’s an argument to be made that we should accept the changes that life has in store for us, it certainly isn’t impossible to hold on to the things we value most.

And if your closest friends are high up on the list of things you value, then do read on for some useful tips on how to retain these friendships throughout your life.
<h2>1. Connection and laughter</h2>
[caption id="attachment_12632586" align="alignnone" width="1300"]<img class="size-full wp-image-12632586" src="https://img.fournine.net/2022/01/HDPW98-3-e1641482528219.jpg" alt="" width="1300" height="819" /> Credit: Jacob Lund / Alamy[/caption]

While we should be able to confide in our friends and vice versa, it’s important that we are also able to laugh with them. 

“Laughter strengthens connection and creates a bond of joy that leaves a lasting imprint on the mind and heart,” Tobias says. “When we laugh, we love the person we are laughing with, and that bond becomes stronger.”

Try not to get too bogged down in all the downsides of life. Instead, find humour in them. Amuse your friends with anecdotes about, say, that loud neighbour who lives across the hall from you, your overbearing, micromanaging supervisor, or your judgemental, ultra-uptight parents.

There isn’t a soul on planet Earth who doesn’t love a giggle, so if you and your buddy are constantly roaring with laughter in each other’s company, you’re likely to value the relationship even more. And it goes without saying that the more you value something, the more time you will make for it.
<h2>2. Maintain healthy boundaries </h2>
[caption id="attachment_12632600" align="alignnone" width="2560"]<img class="size-full wp-image-12632600" src="https://img.fournine.net/2022/01/HJAR3B-scaled.jpg" alt="" width="2560" height="1707" /> Credit: Jacob Lund / Alamy[/caption]

You’ll want to avoid getting to the point where you begin to resent your pal because there are too few boundaries in your relationship

“Learning to listen to your intuition and saying no is an important part of a friendship,” Tobias explains. “Boundaries ensure that everybody is accountable for their own emotions and thus helps preserve the relationship.”

To prevent your friendship from going sour, establish boundaries around things you don’t feel comfortable doing. If you’re not a big drinker, make it clear to your friends that you will not be pressured into, say, doing shots. Or if a friend is dying to watch the latest Marvel movie with you, don’t feel you have to appease them if it isn’t really your thing. 

If you’re constantly doing things you don’t enjoy, or perhaps even things that make you anxious - over time, you may begin to associate this feeling with the person you’re doing these activities with.

It’s also important not to overwhelm your friendship. Getting a healthy amount of space from your friend is as necessary to the friendship’s longevity as spending time with them. That way, you’ll be reducing any potential friction between the two of you.
<h2>3. Rupture and repair</h2>
[caption id="attachment_12632601" align="alignnone" width="2560"]<img class="size-full wp-image-12632601" src="https://img.fournine.net/2022/01/F09YWT-scaled.jpg" alt="" width="2560" height="1707" /> Credit: Ammentorp Photography / Alamy[/caption]

You may be very good friends with someone; you may even be like two peas in a pod, but that certainly doesn’t mean you’re always going to agree on things. We all have our own particular views, sensibilities, and boundaries so it’s important to establish mutual respect for one another’s differences.

“Learning how to disagree and not walk away from the friendship is an important skill,” Tobias says. “Being able to share your feelings and clear up any misunderstandings allows the friendship to endure.”

Of course, if you feel your friend has wronged you in some way and has a habit of doing so, it may well be best to go your separate ways. But don’t spoil a perfectly good friendship over nothing more than a difference of opinion or a frivolous remark.
<h2>4. Evolve with your friendships</h2>
[caption id="attachment_12632602" align="alignnone" width="1300"]<img class="size-full wp-image-12632602" src="https://img.fournine.net/2022/01/F5CX0J-1-e1642414185485.jpg" alt="" width="1300" height="851" /> Credit: Stefan Dahl Langstrup / Alamy[/caption]

You may have to accept that the friendships you forged as a youngster won’t look quite the same later on in life. With more responsibilities and less free time, friendships are in danger of being put on the back burner. But it doesn’t have to be that way. 

Yes, you may have other priorities in your life, but that doesn’t mean your friendships have to fizzle out. You’ll just have to learn to adapt your friendship to whatever life stage you happen to be in.

Tobias acknowledges that “life changes” can impact friendships particularly when there are “other competing priorities, such as kids.” His advice is to “make space for each other's availability, however limited it may be.” 

This, according to him, will take the “pressure off and allows for quality versus quantity.”
<h2>5. Be a friend to yourself </h2>
[caption id="attachment_12632604" align="alignnone" width="2560"]<img class="size-full wp-image-12632604" src="https://img.fournine.net/2022/01/2A1R2HW-scaled.jpg" alt="" width="2560" height="1707" /> Credit: Aliia Arslanova / Alamy[/caption]

It’s important that you learn how to enjoy your own company because the truth is, as you go through the various stages in your life, you may not see your friends as often as you once did at school, university, or before starting a family.

So, be your own best friend, your biggest fan. That way, you won’t feel as hard done by if your pals constantly cancel plans with you. And you won’t feel aggrieved enough to give up on the friendship altogether.

Again, it’s healthy to have space from your friends, and meeting up for dinner or drinks will be all the more special once you do find the time to get together. 

Being your own best friend also means showing yourself love and compassion. Stop giving yourself a hard time over trivial things or overanalysing your performance in certain social situations. You’ll be a much freer, happier person and more likely to want to spend time with other people as a result.

“Learning to give yourself the same consideration you give to others keeps you healthy and happy,” Tobias advises. “It's often easier to be kind to another and less so for oneself.”
<h6>Featured image credit: Ammentorp Photography / Alamy</h6>

As the old adage goes, friends are the family we choose. If this rings true for you, the importance of holding on to a good friendship should be self-evident.
The truth is, close friendships are some of the most fulfilling aspects of our existence - and for good reason. Our platonic pals play an “important role in allowing us to feel validated, valued, and understood,” counsellor <a href="https://petetobiascounselling.co.uk/">Pete Tobias</a> tells Four Nine.
And it goes a lot deeper than, say, being able to bend someone’s ear over a boozy brunch. According to Tobias, connecting with other people is an “essential part of our survival.”
Now, establishing meaningful friendships is one thing, but retaining them is an entirely different kettle of fish.
Typically, the further we go in life, work and family commitments will gradually take precedence over a girls' night out or catch-ups over coffee.
While there’s an argument to be made that we should accept the changes that life has in store for us, it certainly isn’t impossible to hold on to the things we value most.
And if your closest friends are high up on the list of things you value, then do read on for some useful tips on how to retain these friendships throughout your life.
<h2>1. Connection and laughter</h2>
<figure>
 <img class="size-full wp-image-12632586" src="https://img.fournine.net/2022/01/HDPW98-3-e1641482528219.jpg" alt="" width="1300" height="819" /><figcaption class='op-vertical-below'>
<h1>

 Credit: Jacob Lund / Alamy</h1>
</figcaption></figure>
While we should be able to confide in our friends and vice versa, it’s important that we are also able to laugh with them. 
“Laughter strengthens connection and creates a bond of joy that leaves a lasting imprint on the mind and heart,” Tobias says. “When we laugh, we love the person we are laughing with, and that bond becomes stronger.”
Try not to get too bogged down in all the downsides of life. Instead, find humour in them. Amuse your friends with anecdotes about, say, that loud neighbour who lives across the hall from you, your overbearing, micromanaging supervisor, or your judgemental, ultra-uptight parents.
There isn’t a soul on planet Earth who doesn’t love a giggle, so if you and your buddy are constantly roaring with laughter in each other’s company, you’re likely to value the relationship even more. And it goes without saying that the more you value something, the more time you will make for it.
<h2>2. Maintain healthy boundaries </h2>
<figure>
 <img class="size-full wp-image-12632600" src="https://img.fournine.net/2022/01/HJAR3B-scaled.jpg" alt="" width="2560" height="1707" /><figcaption class='op-vertical-below'>
<h1>

 Credit: Jacob Lund / Alamy</h1>
</figcaption></figure>
You’ll want to avoid getting to the point where you begin to resent your pal because there are too few boundaries in your relationship
“Learning to listen to your intuition and saying no is an important part of a friendship,” Tobias explains. “Boundaries ensure that everybody is accountable for their own emotions and thus helps preserve the relationship.”
To prevent your friendship from going sour, establish boundaries around things you don’t feel comfortable doing. If you’re not a big drinker, make it clear to your friends that you will not be pressured into, say, doing shots. Or if a friend is dying to watch the latest Marvel movie with you, don’t feel you have to appease them if it isn’t really your thing. 
If you’re constantly doing things you don’t enjoy, or perhaps even things that make you anxious - over time, you may begin to associate this feeling with the person you’re doing these activities with.
It’s also important not to overwhelm your friendship. Getting a healthy amount of space from your friend is as necessary to the friendship’s longevity as spending time with them. That way, you’ll be reducing any potential friction between the two of you.
<h2>3. Rupture and repair</h2>
<figure>
 <img class="size-full wp-image-12632601" src="https://img.fournine.net/2022/01/F09YWT-scaled.jpg" alt="" width="2560" height="1707" /><figcaption class='op-vertical-below'>
<h1>

 Credit: Ammentorp Photography / Alamy</h1>
</figcaption></figure>
You may be very good friends with someone; you may even be like two peas in a pod, but that certainly doesn’t mean you’re always going to agree on things. We all have our own particular views, sensibilities, and boundaries so it’s important to establish mutual respect for one another’s differences.
“Learning how to disagree and not walk away from the friendship is an important skill,” Tobias says. “Being able to share your feelings and clear up any misunderstandings allows the friendship to endure.”
Of course, if you feel your friend has wronged you in some way and has a habit of doing so, it may well be best to go your separate ways. But don’t spoil a perfectly good friendship over nothing more than a difference of opinion or a frivolous remark.
<h2>4. Evolve with your friendships</h2>
<figure>
 <img class="size-full wp-image-12632602" src="https://img.fournine.net/2022/01/F5CX0J-1-e1642414185485.jpg" alt="" width="1300" height="851" /><figcaption class='op-vertical-below'>
<h1>

 Credit: Stefan Dahl Langstrup / Alamy</h1>
</figcaption></figure>
You may have to accept that the friendships you forged as a youngster won’t look quite the same later on in life. With more responsibilities and less free time, friendships are in danger of being put on the back burner. But it doesn’t have to be that way. 
Yes, you may have other priorities in your life, but that doesn’t mean your friendships have to fizzle out. You’ll just have to learn to adapt your friendship to whatever life stage you happen to be in.
Tobias acknowledges that “life changes” can impact friendships particularly when there are “other competing priorities, such as kids.” His advice is to “make space for each other's availability, however limited it may be.” 
This, according to him, will take the “pressure off and allows for quality versus quantity.”
<h2>5. Be a friend to yourself </h2>
<figure>
 <img class="size-full wp-image-12632604" src="https://img.fournine.net/2022/01/2A1R2HW-scaled.jpg" alt="" width="2560" height="1707" /><figcaption class='op-vertical-below'>
<h1>

 Credit: Aliia Arslanova / Alamy</h1>
</figcaption></figure>
It’s important that you learn how to enjoy your own company because the truth is, as you go through the various stages in your life, you may not see your friends as often as you once did at school, university, or before starting a family.
So, be your own best friend, your biggest fan. That way, you won’t feel as hard done by if your pals constantly cancel plans with you. And you won’t feel aggrieved enough to give up on the friendship altogether.
Again, it’s healthy to have space from your friends, and meeting up for dinner or drinks will be all the more special once you do find the time to get together. 
Being your own best friend also means showing yourself love and compassion. Stop giving yourself a hard time over trivial things or overanalysing your performance in certain social situations. You’ll be a much freer, happier person and more likely to want to spend time with other people as a result.
“Learning to give yourself the same consideration you give to others keeps you healthy and happy,” Tobias advises. “It's often easier to be kind to another and less so for oneself.”
<h2>Featured image credit: Ammentorp Photography / Alamy</h2>

Relationship counsellor explains how to retain strong friendships throughout your life

Contrary to popular belief, you don't have to be alone to feel lonely. And you certainly don't have to be single either. 

While it's natural to assume that being in a relationship will fulfill all your needs for mutual affection, rapport, and closeness - unfortunately, this isn't always the case. You could well be in a stable, long-term relationship and still yearn for closer companionship.

In fact, psychodynamic psychotherapist <a href="https://www.bacp.co.uk/profile/94cc17c5-8845-e911-a960-000d3aba6816">Eliza Goldberg</a> tells Four Nine that loneliness is actually quite common in relationships - and even in marriages.

"Loneliness is experienced when a loss of connectedness between partners has happened," she says. "This loss of connectedness, either experienced by one or by both partners, can occur due to all sorts of life circumstances: stress, mental health problems, illness or death of a parent or other loved ones..."

The unfortunate reality is, relationships don't always keep us protected against feelings of isolation. In fact, living with or spending time with a partner that you no longer have a connection with can potentially increase your loneliness.

Now, the solution to your loneliness does largely depend on what's causing it in the first place, but here are some handy tips to help you combat the emotional isolation you've been experiencing.

[caption id="attachment_12632582" align="alignnone" width="2560"]<img class="size-full wp-image-12632582" src="https://img.fournine.net/2022/01/M3Y7BE-scaled.jpg" alt="" width="2560" height="1707" /> Credit: Andor Bujdoso / Alamy[/caption]
<h2>1. Show compassion towards yourself</h2>
Before actively trying to resolve your loneliness, the first thing you should be doing is showing yourself compassion. It can be jarring to suddenly feel lonely in a relationship that may well have started out as a very passionate, attentive, and affectionate one.

Goldberg explains that it can sometimes be even more difficult to experience loneliness while you're in a relationship, as others may not be able to understand how someone with a partner could feel that way in the first place.

"It is important to remember that this is normal and happens to a lot of people and that we are not alone in this," she says.

According to licensed therapist <a href="https://www.bacp.co.uk/profile/db8fd6f6-3b90-e711-80e8-3863bb3640b8/therapist?location=Bristol">Shelley Treacher</a>, people tend to put themselves down for feeling unhappy, in spite of the perfectly rational reasons for their unhappiness.

"Understanding and compassion go a lot further to resolution than denial or self-criticism," she tells us. "Can you spot how you're running yourself down when you feel lonely? As if it's your fault somehow? This self-criticism will only contribute to feeling more lonely. Where compassion can help you feel warmer and more connected."

[caption id="attachment_12632583" align="alignnone" width="1300"]<img class="size-full wp-image-12632583" src="https://img.fournine.net/2022/01/REFXRC-1-e1641482076649.jpg" alt="" width="1300" height="819" /> Credit: Margarita Kulakova / Alamy[/caption]
<h2>2. Figure out the cause of your loneliness</h2>
A major part of working towards a solution for your loneliness is figuring out what exactly the cause is. Perhaps it's an obvious one - for example, your other half might work long or unsociable hours and you might not get to see them as often as you'd like.

Or it could be that the reason for your loneliness is harder to pinpoint. Nevertheless, Goldberg stresses the importance of working out what has caused this "loss of connectedness" in order to "reflect on what our part in this situation could be."

"Sometimes we are angry with our partner but have not expressed this. Instead, we have defended against this feeling by diving into our work, for example," she adds.

Counselling psychologist <a href="https://www.positum.co.uk/">Raluca Ursica</a> tells Four Nine that loneliness generally stems from feeling emotionally disconnected - not only from our partner but also from ourselves.

"We might feel that our partner doesn't listen or see us or maybe that our feelings don't deserve to be heard or acknowledged," Ursica explains. "We choose to disconnect for fear of rejection or of being misunderstood."

Also, according to Treacher, while your loneliness may well be a result of something in your current relationship, feeling lonely in the present could stem from previous difficult relationships too. 

[caption id="attachment_12632584" align="alignnone" width="1300"]<img class="size-full wp-image-12632584" src="https://img.fournine.net/2022/01/GF5731-1-e1641482170613.jpg" alt="" width="1300" height="838" /> Credit: Ammentorp Photography / Alamy[/caption]
<h2>3. Communicate with your partner</h2>
Naturally, if you're committed to your other half, then you need to communicate your feelings to them so that they are aware and can make an effort towards helping the two of you become more of a unit.

That's not to say that opening up about issues in your relationship is easy - far from it. Ursica completely empathises with those who struggle to speak openly about the pain they are feeling. Ultimately, though, it is wholly necessary.

"What we forget, is that the only way to connect is by being vulnerable, authentic," she says. "Showing up for ourselves and our partners, opening up about our needs, feelings, wishes, and dreams is the way we create emotional intimacy and build authentic relationships."

Goldberg urges lonely non-singles not to delay communicating with their partners about their loneliness and stresses the importance of finding a dedicated space for a heart to heart.

Now, in terms of how to go about communicating with your partner, look into "Non-violent communication," which Treacher says "encourages exploration and understanding, using 'I feel...' rather than 'You did this...'"

[caption id="attachment_12632585" align="alignnone" width="1300"]<img class="size-full wp-image-12632585" src="https://img.fournine.net/2022/01/2A15XRA-1-e1641482398186.jpg" alt="" width="1300" height="845" /> Credit: Westend61 GmbH / Alamy[/caption]
<h2>4. Do something special with your partner</h2>
Once you have communicated your feelings to your partner, it would be helpful for the two of you to break up your potentially mundane daily routine by carving out some time for a date night, a fun activity, or even a weekend away.

Try to compromise by agreeing to do something that might not necessarily be your cup of tea. The aim is to show your partner that you want to spend time with them and are happy to do something that they enjoy if it means being in their company.

Use this time to focus on each other and perhaps reignite that lost spark. If you still see potential in your relationship, try not to let it slip into platonic territories. Be tactile and flirtatious with your partner and see how they respond.

It's possible that you may not get the response you hoped for, but at least you'll know where you and your relationship stand.

[caption id="attachment_12632586" align="alignnone" width="1300"]<img class="size-full wp-image-12632586" src="https://img.fournine.net/2022/01/HDPW98-3-e1641482528219.jpg" alt="" width="1300" height="819" /> Credit: Jacob Lund / Alamy[/caption]
<h2>5. Nurture your other relationships</h2>
Just because you're feeling lonely in your romantic relationship, doesn't mean you have to feel lonely when you're with your friends and family. So, don't neglect the time you spend with the people you are closest to.

"You might more easily find people on your wavelength doing something that aligns with your values, away from the relationship. Find support elsewhere," Treacher advises.

You may even consider forging new connections, which you can do in a number of ways. Consider joining a club related to your interests, perhaps start using platonic friend-making apps such as Meetup, get chatting with one of your neighbours or colleagues and if you hit it off, ask them to hang out. Be open to meeting new people at events such as gigs, or invite friends and acquaintances around yours for a party or small gathering - each with a plus-one in order to extend your circle.

Of course, seeking company outside your romantic relationship doesn't necessarily have to mean with a person. You could also look into adopting a cat or a dog so that you have a four-legged companion to get you through tough times.

[caption id="attachment_12632587" align="alignnone" width="2560"]<img class="size-full wp-image-12632587" src="https://img.fournine.net/2022/01/F02G63-scaled.jpg" alt="" width="2560" height="1707" /> Credit: RooM the Agency / Alamy[/caption]
<h2>6. Find a new interest or hobby</h2>
If you feel lonely even when your partner is around, then it may be best to spend more time on your own doing things that bring you joy.

Rather than doing something mundane like watching TV (unless, of course, it's something you're passionate about), you could try to find a new interest or hobby to distract you from your relationship woes.

Some solo hobbies include baking, writing personal essays, fictional stories or poetry, working out, drawing, or you could even start creating your own content on TikTok or YouTube.

You could also try to learn a new skill such as playing an instrument or brushing up on your DIY. If you're someone who gives up on things easily, try your best to stick to it - it might give you a real sense of achievement.

[caption id="attachment_12632588" align="alignnone" width="2560"]<img class="size-full wp-image-12632588" src="https://img.fournine.net/2022/01/KMDP0F-scaled.jpg" alt="" width="2560" height="1707" /> Credit: Caia Image / Alamy[/caption]
<h2>7. Seek professional help</h2>
If you feel you have tried everything in your power to alleviate your loneliness and it remains an issue, it might be best to seek help from a professional, Goldberg says.

You could perhaps look into getting individual therapy sessions in order to figure out the underlying causes of your unhappiness. Or, if your partner is willing, try going to a couples counsellor.

Deciding to enlist the help of a professional, if it's a feasible option for you, is a good indication, according to Goldberg, as "wanting to improve how we are feeling is often a sign that we see a possibility for improvement, and these are important steps to reduce loneliness."

Ultimately, you'll have to decide for yourself whether you feel your relationship is worth fighting for or whether it might be best to call it quits.
<h6>Featured image credit: Prostock-studio / Alamy</h6>

Contrary to popular belief, you don't have to be alone to feel lonely. And you certainly don't have to be single either. 
While it's natural to assume that being in a relationship will fulfill all your needs for mutual affection, rapport, and closeness - unfortunately, this isn't always the case. You could well be in a stable, long-term relationship and still yearn for closer companionship.
In fact, psychodynamic psychotherapist<a href="https://www.bacp.co.uk/profile/94cc17c5-8845-e911-a960-000d3aba6816">Eliza Goldberg</a> tells Four Nine that loneliness is actually quite common in relationships - and even in marriages.
"Loneliness is experienced when a loss of connectedness between partners has happened," she says. "This loss of connectedness, either experienced by one or by both partners, can occur due to all sorts of life circumstances: stress, mental health problems, illness or death of a parent or other loved ones..."
The unfortunate reality is, relationships don't always keep us protected against feelings of isolation. In fact, living with or spending time with a partner that you no longer have a connection with can potentially increase your loneliness.
Now, the solution to your loneliness does largely depend on what's causing it in the first place, but here are some handy tips to help you combat the emotional isolation you've been experiencing.
<figure>
 <img class="size-full wp-image-12632582" src="https://img.fournine.net/2022/01/M3Y7BE-scaled.jpg" alt="" width="2560" height="1707" /><figcaption class='op-vertical-below'>
<h1>

 Credit: Andor Bujdoso / Alamy</h1>
</figcaption></figure>
<h2>1. Show compassion towards yourself</h2>
Before actively trying to resolve your loneliness, the first thing you should be doing is showing yourself compassion. It can be jarring to suddenly feel lonely in a relationship that may well have started out as a very passionate, attentive, and affectionate one.
Goldberg explains that it can sometimes be even more difficult to experience loneliness while you're in a relationship, as others may not be able to understand how someone with a partner could feel that way in the first place.
"It is important to remember that this is normal and happens to a lot of people and that we are not alone in this," she says.
According to licensed therapist<a href="https://www.bacp.co.uk/profile/db8fd6f6-3b90-e711-80e8-3863bb3640b8/therapist?location=Bristol">Shelley Treacher</a>, people tend to put themselves down for feeling unhappy, in spite of the perfectly rational reasons for their unhappiness.
"Understanding and compassion go a lot further to resolution than denial or self-criticism," she tells us. "Can you spot how you're running yourself down when you feel lonely? As if it's your fault somehow? This self-criticism will only contribute to feeling more lonely. Where compassion can help you feel warmer and more connected."
<figure>
 <img class="size-full wp-image-12632583" src="https://img.fournine.net/2022/01/REFXRC-1-e1641482076649.jpg" alt="" width="1300" height="819" /><figcaption class='op-vertical-below'>
<h1>

 Credit: Margarita Kulakova / Alamy</h1>
</figcaption></figure>
<h2>2. Figure out the cause of your loneliness</h2>
A major part of working towards a solution for your loneliness is figuring out what exactly the cause is. Perhaps it's an obvious one - for example, your other half might work long or unsociable hours and you might not get to see them as often as you'd like.
Or it could be that the reason for your loneliness is harder to pinpoint. Nevertheless, Goldberg stresses the importance of working out what has caused this "loss of connectedness" in order to "reflect on what our part in this situation could be."
"Sometimes we are angry with our partner but have not expressed this. Instead, we have defended against this feeling by diving into our work, for example," she adds.
Counselling psychologist<a href="https://www.positum.co.uk/">Raluca Ursica</a> tells Four Nine that loneliness generally stems from feeling emotionally disconnected - not only from our partner but also from ourselves.
"We might feel that our partner doesn't listen or see us or maybe that our feelings don't deserve to be heard or acknowledged," Ursica explains. "We choose to disconnect for fear of rejection or of being misunderstood."
Also, according to Treacher, while your loneliness may well be a result of something in your current relationship, feeling lonely in the present could stem from previous difficult relationships too. 
<figure>
 <img class="size-full wp-image-12632584" src="https://img.fournine.net/2022/01/GF5731-1-e1641482170613.jpg" alt="" width="1300" height="838" /><figcaption class='op-vertical-below'>
<h1>

 Credit: Ammentorp Photography / Alamy</h1>
</figcaption></figure>
<h2>3. Communicate with your partner</h2>
Naturally, if you're committed to your other half, then you need to communicate your feelings to them so that they are aware and can make an effort towards helping the two of you become more of a unit.
That's not to say that opening up about issues in your relationship is easy - far from it. Ursica completely empathises with those who struggle to speak openly about the pain they are feeling. Ultimately, though, it is wholly necessary.
"What we forget, is that the only way to connect is by being vulnerable, authentic," she says. "Showing up for ourselves and our partners, opening up about our needs, feelings, wishes, and dreams is the way we create emotional intimacy and build authentic relationships."
Goldberg urges lonely non-singles not to delay communicating with their partners about their loneliness and stresses the importance of finding a dedicated space for a heart to heart.
Now, in terms of how to go about communicating with your partner, look into "Non-violent communication," which Treacher says "encourages exploration and understanding, using 'I feel...' rather than 'You did this...'"
<figure>
 <img class="size-full wp-image-12632585" src="https://img.fournine.net/2022/01/2A15XRA-1-e1641482398186.jpg" alt="" width="1300" height="845" /><figcaption class='op-vertical-below'>
<h1>

 Credit: Westend61 GmbH / Alamy</h1>
</figcaption></figure>
<h2>4. Do something special with your partner</h2>
Once you have communicated your feelings to your partner, it would be helpful for the two of you to break up your potentially mundane daily routine by carving out some time for a date night, a fun activity, or even a weekend away.
Try to compromise by agreeing to do something that might not necessarily be your cup of tea. The aim is to show your partner that you want to spend time with them and are happy to do something that they enjoy if it means being in their company.
Use this time to focus on each other and perhaps reignite that lost spark. If you still see potential in your relationship, try not to let it slip into platonic territories. Be tactile and flirtatious with your partner and see how they respond.
It's possible that you may not get the response you hoped for, but at least you'll know where you and your relationship stand.
<figure>
 <img class="size-full wp-image-12632586" src="https://img.fournine.net/2022/01/HDPW98-3-e1641482528219.jpg" alt="" width="1300" height="819" /><figcaption class='op-vertical-below'>
<h1>

 Credit: Jacob Lund / Alamy</h1>
</figcaption></figure>
<h2>5. Nurture your other relationships</h2>
Just because you're feeling lonely in your romantic relationship, doesn't mean you have to feel lonely when you're with your friends and family. So, don't neglect the time you spend with the people you are closest to.
"You might more easily find people on your wavelength doing something that aligns with your values, away from the relationship. Find support elsewhere," Treacher advises.
You may even consider forging new connections, which you can do in a number of ways. Consider joining a club related to your interests, perhaps start using platonic friend-making apps such as Meetup, get chatting with one of your neighbours or colleagues and if you hit it off, ask them to hang out. Be open to meeting new people at events such as gigs, or invite friends and acquaintances around yours for a party or small gathering - each with a plus-one in order to extend your circle.
Of course, seeking company outside your romantic relationship doesn't necessarily have to mean with a person. You could also look into adopting a cat or a dog so that you have a four-legged companion to get you through tough times.
<figure>
 <img class="size-full wp-image-12632587" src="https://img.fournine.net/2022/01/F02G63-scaled.jpg" alt="" width="2560" height="1707" /><figcaption class='op-vertical-below'>
<h1>

 Credit: RooM the Agency / Alamy</h1>
</figcaption></figure>
<h2>6. Find a new interest or hobby</h2>
If you feel lonely even when your partner is around, then it may be best to spend more time on your own doing things that bring you joy.
Rather than doing something mundane like watching TV (unless, of course, it's something you're passionate about), you could try to find a new interest or hobby to distract you from your relationship woes.
Some solo hobbies include baking, writing personal essays, fictional stories or poetry, working out, drawing, or you could even start creating your own content on TikTok or YouTube.
You could also try to learn a new skill such as playing an instrument or brushing up on your DIY. If you're someone who gives up on things easily, try your best to stick to it - it might give you a real sense of achievement.
<figure>
 <img class="size-full wp-image-12632588" src="https://img.fournine.net/2022/01/KMDP0F-scaled.jpg" alt="" width="2560" height="1707" /><figcaption class='op-vertical-below'>
<h1>

 Credit: Caia Image / Alamy</h1>
</figcaption></figure>
<h2>7. Seek professional help</h2>
If you feel you have tried everything in your power to alleviate your loneliness and it remains an issue, it might be best to seek help from a professional, Goldberg says.
You could perhaps look into getting individual therapy sessions in order to figure out the underlying causes of your unhappiness. Or, if your partner is willing, try going to a couples counsellor.
Deciding to enlist the help of a professional, if it's a feasible option for you, is a good indication, according to Goldberg, as "wanting to improve how we are feeling is often a sign that we see a possibility for improvement, and these are important steps to reduce loneliness."
Ultimately, you'll have to decide for yourself whether you feel your relationship is worth fighting for or whether it might be best to call it quits.
<h2>Featured image credit: Prostock-studio / Alamy</h2>

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