Bizarre new trend sees women decorating their boobs for Christmas
Let's be real – as much as Christmas is about spending time with your loved ones, appreciating the kindness in the world and how good brussels sprouts actually are – Christmas is competitive.
You want to be recognised as the best and most thoughtful gift-giver in your family, and decorative lighting on house facades is something of a sport in your neighbourhood. Everyone wants to pick the best tree of the lot, and your mother would have a breakdown if you told her that you've eaten a better roast ham than hers.
And if you're mad at a co-worker for having upstaged you last year by wearing a Christmas jumper that was the perfect mix of festive and funny, replete with actual reindeer wool and functioning christmas lights (way to go overboard, Sharon), it's now your turn to show her how it's done.
Introducing: the "reindeer boob".
This new trend is perfect for those of you feeling a little more naughty than nice this year. All you have to do is cut a hole in your Christmas jumper (steal Sharon's if you can) so that your boob can peep out. Stick some googly eyes on, maybe some antlers if you're feeling extra fancy, and make sure to cover up with a big, red glowing nose so as not to frighten anyone who doesn't believe that women have nipples.
Looks cute, right?
The trend seems to be making waves all over the world, so don't be surprised if someone comes to your Christmas do with one of their mammary glands flopped out and dolled up as well. I imagine that a lot of people would have trouble knowing which pair of eyes to look into when talking – yours, or the reindeer boobs?
To show all reindeers out there that it's not only the "original" Rudolf that people care about, reindeer boobs come in all shapes and sizes.
It looks like everyone's getting in on the trend, even the dudes.
Ah, it's the most wonderful time of the year, isn't it?
The look is certainly attention-grabbing, and anyone who doesn't select you for "best dressed" at your Christmas party needs to learn a thing or two about the way trends work.
But if you're not feeling quite risqué enough to pull off the reindeer boob, you can always go for the other festive look that's in vogue this year - Christmas tree brows.
They've even got little ornaments and a gold star up top!
Or maybe this Santa hat look is more your cup of tea?
Whatever your style is, you can't say you're short of inspiration to help you bag that special prize. Now go, get your game face on and start putting together your look. The devil is in the detail.
And Merry Christmas, or should I say... Merry tit-mas.