Honeymoon period over? 8 reasons it's actually not the best stage of a relationship
The honeymoon period... that time after you've been on a number of good dates with someone and you decide to take things further.
You start to fall for each other, text all the time, hang out whenever you can and have hot, steamy sex on the daily. And naturally, you rattle on about your new lover to your friends. They're always on your mind, and that "new love" feeling is something fierce.
Is the honeymoon period all it's cracked up to be?
A lot of people think this loved-up early stage of the relationship is the best part, but... they could be wrong.
Not only is it a necessary period of time to go on to have a more serious relationship, but really, the honeymoon phase isn't all it's cracked up to be.
From the insecurities to the delusion, here are eight reasons the honeymoon phase can be the worst.
1. Beneath the bliss, there's actually a lot of stress
You're past the first date nerves, but now you're entering new territory. Like if it's bad that you're showing too much interest, or what the hell is the optimal number of emojis to send per message... Then there's the whole going through a mini makeover before your "casual drinks".
2. Which is all thanks to the constant pressure to impress
You're feeling excitable, so of course, you want to go on cool dates, pick fancy restaurants, and do it all looking like a drop-dead bombshell.
But while a candlelit dinner in a high-rise overlooking the city can feel romantic, so can moments at home. I mean, you could be snuggled on the couch, sharing a $5 bottle of wine.
3. You get freaked out about arguing during the honeymoon period
Fights can feel like your blossoming relationship is doomed just because you can't agree on something as trivial as recycling milk cartons. You might tiptoe around sensitive conversations or hold your tongue if your date did something stupid.
But thinking that you should never fight because you're in the honeymoon haze is silly – healthy relationships involve arguments. You need to fight once in a while to learn how to compromise and better understand each other. It only leads to a stronger relationship.
4. There's probably a lot of sex, but it's not necessarily the best sex
Yeah, sure the sex is hot and goddamn frequent (high five!), but you shouldn't think that this stage of your relationship will be your sexual peak.
Even if you're not doing it as often, the sex will probably be better later in your relationship. You'll know each other's dirtiest desires, and be more confident with each other.
5. Let's be honest, you can be a bit delusional during the honeymoon period
Don't kid yourself into thinking this way of behaving will last forever. The chemicals that are released in your brain during this stage are said to be similar to amphetamines, explaining why you're super psyched about them, talking about them non-stop, and having sex all the time.
But that feeling will naturally calm down, and if you've been too caught up in the fantasy of the moment and waving away any red flags, it's likely you'll soon realise it.
6. You can't be your true goofy self without feeling self-conscious
You'd be mortified if you do something that upsets the illusion of you being of a pure and wholesome entity. Like if you reveal that you love squeezing gooey pimples, or if you let a thunderous fart rip.
While you're probably going to be more polite and lady-like during the honeymoon phase, you might also be holding back on the true version of yourself that your friends know and love. And who wants to do that? The stage after all that is when you can be absolutely honest and totally yourself, all of which your S.O. will come to appreciate.
7. It's actually impossible to sustain forever
Sure, in the moment it all feels amazing. But it would actually be unhealthy to sustain forever. Relationships naturally grow and develop, and there's nothing wrong with things calming down.
In fact, after the honeymoon phase, you have lots to look forward to. Your relationship feels more secure and stable, and you can actually start planning a future together, without any of the niggling anxiety that comes with the heady days of new love.
8. Remember the biological impetus behind the honeymoon period
The whole (caveman and cavewoman) point behind the honeymoon phase is to be together long enough to procreate. Think about it, if it all didn't feel so wonderful, you wouldn't stay together long enough to carry on the human species.
Once you realise that, you'll understand that the best is yet to come - hello stability and safety!
As fun and exciting as the honeymoon phase is, most people experience something entirely different – and something that's just as good in its own way – in the stage thereafter.
Whether you feel less embarrassed about certain bodily functions, or you feel you can just enjoy each other's company when doing something as mundane as grocery shopping, the part after the honeymoon phase comes without the doubts and insecurities that you might feel at first. And that is true #relationshipgoals.